It's Fashion Friday!: Fendi Buggies and Prada Racing

           I know Fendi had some really horrible contributions to my compilation of precious pelts wasted in grotesque garments. And I must qualify what is about to come with the statement that I still think these things are ridiculous. HOWEVER, what is better than a fashion house that doesn’t take itself seriously? Well, honestly, a lot of things. Regardless of that, I enjoy films. I really enjoy short films. I extra really enjoy short silly films made by high-end fashion designers just for the hell of it. Fendi has made a fantastic little film to advertise their new “Buggie” collection.

            The whole collection is about whimsy. It’s mostly little fur handbag charms in made to look like little monsters. They all have names, of course. I like Lucifur - I think he looks like a squirrel. There are a couple of wallets and handbags with rage-filled owl like glances. And it wouldn’t be complete without one of their iconic Peekaboo bags, my favorite piece, with a monster’s face on the inside. The whole lot of accessories is excessive, garish, and fantastic. I’m a little bit late to the party in my post (this holiday capsule collection was released in November), out of pure laziness. Sorry! I don’t even want to know how expensive all of these pieces are. I can’t afford them. Most of you probably can’t afford them. So what does it matter?  

           While we're at it with the weird Italian fashion short films, Prada had another one made: Castello Cavalcanti. This is a Wes Anderson/Jason Schwartzman collaboration. And it's just odd. JUST ODD. Apparently it was inspired by a scene in Amarcord. If you are unfamiliar with that gem, it is a fantastic Fellini film that every film enthusiast should enjoy. 

It's Fashion Friday!: Protect Your Peepers

           I might have a bit of a sunglasses acquisition issue. They’re such a fun thing to buy. An easy way to give a hint of something new to your appearance. An easy way to hide the squint you’re making at that person who has no idea what they’re talking about. AND they are medically necessary to PROTECT your beautiful peepers from those harmful glorious rays of light raining down from that magnificent ball of gas in the sky. 

       

The Original Wayfarer
in one of their "Rare Prints"
$165

     While particular styles may go in and out of trend, I really believe sunglasses are one area of fashion where people can do what they damn well please. The only guideline is that you attempt to do something that goes well with the shape and color of your face. A lot of fun is out there to be had! There are some standards we all know and love. The Wayfarer by Ray Ban is an older style that has resurfaced with “hipster cool.” Contrary to the belief of everyone living in Park Slope, this is NOT a universally flattering style. They are available in a wide variety of colors, however, so you may be able to find a pair that works for you. I had a pair. I don’t know if I ever showed you their demise, or told you about it, but a quick recap – picture my large, wrapped in a size 11 Saucony sneaker foot, eagerly reaching to make a sticky contact with the floor so I could hold a forearm plank, and instead landing smack in the middle of the lens of my Wayfarers. The SOUND! OH. I think it was as if the whole world was silent and all I could hear was shatter-crunching.

These are fun! Prada 'Baroque' will leave you
broke - $290 at Nordstrom.



            The beautiful thing about Ray Bans, and any other designer sunglass made by Luxottica Group, is that they can be sent back to them for repairs. And let me tell you, that is a good thing, because this is not a company whose quality I would bank on. Let me rephrase that. Luxottica’s proprietary brands, such as Ray Ban and Persol, are fine. Luxottica’s licensed brands, which would be a huge helping of your designer eyewear: Prada, D&G, Chanel, Ferragamo, Versace, anything you can buy at Lenscrafters… not so great. The most recent pair of eyeglasses (we all know how much those cost) I purchased actually started to flake at the temples – not a happy girl. Anyways, I will be sending back my Ray Bans with a request for assistance – I’ll let you know how that goes. The extra helpful people at Lenscrafters told me it would be cheaper to just buy a brand new pair. I don’t think so.

Mmmm. McQueen. $340.

             Safilo Group is the other designer eyewear licensing monster. They handle the accounts of Dior, Bottega Veneta, Alexander McQueen, Saint Laurent, and Marc Jacobs, among others. I recently acquired a pair of My Lady Dior’s in honor of my friend Janice. Janice got herself a beautiful Lady Dior handbag while we were working together at Anthropologie and now we can match. I am already excited by the improvement in quality of these glasses over those by Luxottica. I had noticed a piece on the temple was a bit loose the other day, you know how sometimes you can wiggle the joint between the front frame and the side up and down and back and forth? It was easily tightened with a jeweler’s screwdriver and on a cheaper pair of frames it would most likely have been glued. 

            Enough shop talk. The bottom line is, as long as the sunglasses you purchase are

Floral Square Frames. $5.80!! Now THAT'S
my price range. Forever21.

100% UV Protection, you are good to go! I tend to also prefer my sunglasses to be without nose pieces as I also use mine to keep the hair out of my face when I go indoors, and those little things get caught in hair. It's pretty embarrassing to have your sunglasses dangling from the side of your head when you want them on your nose. I say it’s good to have at least one really nice pair that you take good care of, and then have a bunch of cheap ones to put in every purse, in the car, in the kitchen, in your gym bag, anywhere you might find yourself squinting. TJ Maxx is a great place to get cheap sunglasses AND cheaper good sunglasses. Department store outlets are also great places to get cheaper good sunglasses. I tend to want to pay less as mine always seem to meet an untimely end. My favorite pair of purple Missoni sunglasses? My boss from hell THREW THEM AWAY. And then she lied about it. Pretended she knew nothing. It was the moment she told me “You know what? I want to buy you a new pair of sunglasses. I just feel so bad that your sunglasses went missing,” that gave her away. That was before she knew they were Missoni. I never told her I got them at TJ Maxx. I let her think that I paid hundreds of dollars for them. She was a horrible person.

       

There's always the vintage route.
$18.90 on Etsy.

     Before that, I had the one pair of Armani sunglasses I paid full price for. I had purchased them with my brother, at his encouragement. I loved them to death. They actually had a long life, before I forgot that I had taken them off and put them in my lap while I was driving. I then got out of the car. They fell onto the pavement. AND I STEPPED ON THEM. They were a wrap around style, very delicate, sort of frameless. And then they were a patterned style. Made everything look like spider webs.

            The moral of this story is to deck out your face with fun frames. Don’t spend to much. Buy what you like. If you can take care of it, go ahead and invest! If not, keep it cheap and don’t get too attached. Check out this lady!

It's Fashion Friday!: Bruins and Marigolds

Plant these! These marigolds act
as organic nematode
 control from Burpee.

    I don’t know what it is lately, but I just can’t get enough of the color marigold. Perhaps it is because it is time to plant the marigolds. The dandelions are out in full force and I LIKE IT. The little wild strawberries have their happy flowers littering the grass outside the pipe shop where I work part of the week. Or, maybe, IT’S HOCKEY PLAYOFFS!!!!!!! I get equally excited about the Bruins winning and the end of hard frost season (time to start my container jungle). 

Coming soon, to my eyelashes
via Chanel.

           This yellow kick is so out of control this spring, I even bought yellow mascara. That’s right, I am going to paint my eyelashes the color of road paint. You’ve seen blue and purple already…. Have I lost my mind? Could be. You’ll know before I do! Let’s celebrate Bruins wins, petunia planting, and insanity with a couple of sunshine inspired delights.
       

I just can't get enough Prada footwear -
it's so comfortable.

            I have been searching for an acceptable summertime wedge sandal for more than one summer. I thought I found one I liked yesterday – it was made by Camper – and it was on sale. I like Campers. They’re comfortable. They’re a little pricey though. It’s funny how my pricing rationalization works. An example would be: I refuse to pay more than $4-6 for a t-shirt. In the same shopping trip you could watch me decide that it was completely reasonable to spend $30 on one bottle of nail polish. So, these Campers I saw were on sale for $99 (good price for Campers!). I just didn’t like them enough to pay that much for them. Conversely, this Prada wedge is FANTASTIC! And I am not at all appalled by the $520 price tag (maybe a tiny bit, but not much). I just don’t have the money to buy them. I guess this is strike one for my sanity. 

Squishy, sunny, carryall.

            I’ve been over Marc Jacobs for a while. I think he’s over-branded himself. It’s not about fashion with him - it’s about selling his name. EH. Get over yourself. That’s what I say. Every now and again, however, I still see things that tickle my fancy. This tote bag, for instance, is awfully cheery. The price is ridiculous, at $200 (Rational Sarah is back). I could make this bag for you. I’m guessing time and supplies would be under $40. I also would not quilt Marc Jacobs’ name into it. It would probably say “Go Bruins” (for the record, Krug scored his first goal as I typed that) or “Monsanto sucks.” 

            Balenciaga’s Arena Classic City bag is available in this lovely color this season – they call it Mangue. Yes, I’m crazy to even mention

$$$$$$$

it. The bag costs $1545. It’s ridiculous to spend this much on a handbag. That’s a mortgage/rent payment. I must mention though, I saw an awful lot of Balenciaga bags on young ladies’ arms when I was in NYC a couple of weekends ago. What I’d like to know is how these ladies can afford BOTH. Last time I checked, living in NYC wasn’t inexpensive. Anyways…. 

OUCH. My eyes.

            Yellow is a tricky color to wear, which is why accessories are often the easiest way to get this color into your wardrobe. Always try this color on in natural light before making a permanent commitment to anything. If this means taking something home to try it so you can get something other than that odd fitting room glow, do it! (This is what generous return policies are for). Sometimes it’s good to get a second opinion as well. Love is blind – the dress may be pretty, but not so pretty on you. Sorry. It’s life! We all have things we can’t wear. I can’t wear greenish yellows or halter neck dresses (unless I’m trying to pass for a member of the USA Olympic swim team). 
           Maybe if you can’t wear yellow, you can get these pants for your boyfriend to wear when he goes golfing. I’m kidding. These are awful. They may be the right colors to cheer for the Bruins, but your boyfriend will look like he passed out drunk in the middle of the road after the Bruins game, and got run over by the road-line painting truck. Hey, isn’t it nifty that ALL the roads in America are black, yellow, and white? Take that, Rangers! (We win game one as I write this blog... mission accomplished. Do you have a victory dance?) 

It's Fashion Friday!: Pimp Slippers - Like Men With Robes Wear

Prada Fall 2012 at Saks Fifth Avenue

            My little (6’0 tall) brother has been anticipating fashion trends for decades. Mixing prints at age 7 (albeit, different plaids that perhaps shouldn’t have been mixed), sporting designer denim before most people even knew there was such a thing (he was even responsible for my introduction), wearing fur trimmed puffer coats before ghetto fabulous was even a concept (he borrowed them from little Japanese girls at Juilliard)… He wore orange and grey color blocked Miu Miu dress shoes to my Bitcho aunt’s wedding a few years back. Yes, he’s straight, and it’s never contrived, just one of his many loveable quirks. Not much surprises me when it comes to my brother, but he really threw my mom and I for a loop this past Christmas.

            When asked what he wanted as a gift his response was “Pimp slippers. You know… like men with robes wear.” Of course, my mom and I both immediately started thinking, “What the hell are pimp slippers?” It wasn’t until Tuesday afternoon when the Saks Fifth Avenue “Prada 2012 Fall Collection” email arrived in my inbox that I think I figured out, “Perhaps this is more along the lines of what he meant than the memory foam ones I picked out (that ended up being too small anyway).” Good thing I got him a robe.

            Apparently, pimp slippers are a big pre-fall trend. Who knew? I must admit, I have not been doing my fashion blogger homework lately. The weather’s been too nice to spend all my time at the computer. It’s gardening season, folks! I have petunias to deadhead. And ever since the Border’s Lending Library closed, I’m not reading quite as many fashion magazines. (Barnes and Noble just does not have the same feel!) I’m certainly not going to pay for them, given how pithy the writing is, and how often the clothes they choose to showcase are horribly ugly. In short, this email surprised me. Not only were the above examples pretty ugly (and I love Prada!), I can’t figure out how they have anything to do with the badass brightly colored wax dipped superheels that Prada exhibited in their FW2012 runway show.

            They aren’t all so bad though! There’s this lovely black sequin adorned pair that I think would be quite smart under a black pants suit (my musician/CPA brain is trying to figure out how I could legally acquire them and write them off as a business expense for tax purposes). The Miu Miu version, however, with the bow and the jewel studded heel is a bit more up my alley. They have patent at Saks and suede (in red) at Neimans.

            As with any trend, I’m sure there will be plenty of cheaper knock off versions to quell the masses. So, for those of you out there who are buying shoes just to look like everyone else and not because you actually really like them, the cheaper version is probably the way to go. I don’t anticipate this trend lasting very long. I will tell you right now, the thing that’s going to differentiate between the pimp slipper that “works” and the pimp slipper that doesn’t is the length of the tongue of the shoe. You’re going to want it to come up higher on the foot, otherwise it’s going to look like you stole your Grandma’s slippers from the nursing home (you ungrateful little turd!). For example, Prada slipper (left) YES. Manolo slipper (right) NO. Although, honestly, I don’t like either of them.

        Sadly, dear brother, I don’t see anything similar in men’s sizes. And even if I did, the ones I could afford to buy for you would be the ones I found at a yard sale and re-pimped the shit out of with supplies I purchased at Michael’s craft store. But if that’s what you really want, I will do that for you, because I love you THAT much.

Since it IS Fashion Friday, and I was a little hard on Prada this week, I would like to share with you this lovely short, featuring Ben Kingsley and Helen Bonham Carter, that Roman Polanski did for the beloved brand. Just click on the text below. Have a good weekend!

PRADA presentsMay 21, 2012. Prada presents 'A Therapy', film directed by Roman Polanski, premiered at the 2012 Cannes Film Festival.

 

It's Fashion Friday!: Dirty Feet Need Not Apply

               It would be difficult for me to forget the look of bewildered disappointment that came across my dear friend Michelle’s face when she discovered I had come back from my lunch break with a brand new pair of gold leather Prada T strap sandals (they were on sale). I saw it coming. I even tried to hide the bag on my way back in to work. Alas, no one can hide things from Michelle. While I respect this woman immensely for being the most fiscally responsible person in my age group I have ever met (homeowner, boat owner, enviable self restraint), I STILL maintain that the Prada sandal purchase was one of the BEST I ever made. I have beaten these lovely metallic thongs to Hell and I’m still wearing them. The footbed is like heaven, enveloping my feet in the luxurious cushion of the most sensitive marshmallows and giving my toes the glorious thought of puppies frolicking in a flowering field. Okay, perhaps I am exaggerating a tad.

            Finding summer sandals should not be a difficult task. There are so many options! Flats, wedges, flip flops, espadrilles, slides….. Don’t get too carried away. While “What would Jesus do?” may be a lovely sentiment, when buying shoes NOT SO MUCH. I strongly discourage buying any shoe that could be categorized under the heading “fisherman” unless you are, in fact, a fisherman. (I will, however, bet you $5 that fishermen don’t actually wear sandals while they are out trying to reel in giant tuna). And this goes for men as well. Unfortunately, gentlemen, your selection for not fugly, not Jesus-y sandals is pretty slim. I don’t envy you. And buying designer sandals is not going to help much, either. The men’s sandals I had the pleasure of schilling last spring while I was convincing people to part with obscene amounts of money at Salvatore Ferragamo were definitely of the ancient disciple variety. Most of the feet I sold these to probably shouldn’t have been showing their feet in public in the first place. Just for the record, standing in the shower is not actually the same as washing your feet.

            I actually really like Birkenstocks. Not for formal occasions, of course. But if you’re just mucking around, they’re great! If you run into any Germans, they may look at you a bit strangely for wearing house shoes out in public, but we are an evolved nation! This is the only land where grown men dress up in tights and butt pads to jump on top of each other on fake grass. Wearing house shoes outside is the least of our problems. I digress.

            While I can condone the investment in a great pair of versatile everyday sandals, especially if they are shiny, I just can’t get behind the designer flip-flop trend. I remember when you could get flip-flops at CVS for $1. I didn’t want them then. And my mom probably wouldn’t have bought them for me anyway. They’re unsupportive and they’re not safe. If you come in contact with shards of glass or rusty nails your feet would probably be better protected by cardboard boxes. Times have changed, and I’ve come around. They’re comfortable and really the only thing I care little enough about to expose to hot sand. (Ironic isn’t it? There are lots of sharp things at the beach these days).

            Michelle must be rubbing off on me, because the thought of someone spending more than $30 on a pair of rubber/plastic/EVA foam ovals with straps attached makes me wonder if said person had their brain sucked out their ear through a straw by a little green man. Many illustrious fashion houses have put their stamp on the popular summer shoe and are charging hundreds of dollars. Salvatore Ferragamo has some PVC flip-flops with an über matronly bow for $160. The Prada flip-flops are plain and $270, but they DO come with a bag (I say with left eyebrow raised). Valentino has brass-studded bows on theirs for $295, but the best nonsense comes from Chanel. For $395, you can be the owner of some plastic flip-flops with their trademark Camellia flower on the foot. COME ON!!!!!! They are ALL MADE OF PLASTIC!!! Not a person on this green earth could convince me that there is a legitimate reason why any of these flip-flops are any more comfortable or supportive than a pair of cheap ones from the drug store. And it’s not like they are hand crafted by schooled cobblers. Crafting a fine leather shoe is a painstaking art. Flip-flop making is not. Save your money. Get your flip-flops at Target. Or go to Havaianas if you really want something fun. Then at the end of the summer, people who wash their feet and people who don’t can both chuck them in the trash without any guilt.