It's Fashion Friday!: Return Of The Hoodie Monster

            I love this time of year. It starts to get chilly enough to wear hooded sweatshirts! People I work with will tell you that I was wearing hooded sweatshirts during the summer when it was 95 degrees out. Yet, this weather means that I can wear hooded sweatshirts ALL THE TIME!!!! And that is excellent news since I’ve been feeling pretty lousy lately with my migraine med switch (have I mentioned that I don't recommend ever taking Topamax for migraine?? just. say. no.). Hoodies are like little cocoons that you never have to come out of. No metamorphosis necessary – just a happy place to hide. A nest of warmth and the closest I can get to mimicking the brilliant avoidance skills of a turtle.

Honeycomb Stitch Cashmere Hoodie
by Autumn Cashmere $365

            I’m lucky enough to have the required uniform at my day-job be whatever I feel like wearing to crawl around on dirty concrete, don’t mind getting dirty while inspecting the quality of stainless steel fittings, and is comfortable enough that I could potentially wear from bed to work to bed again. Not everyone, unfortunately, has this luxury of being able to oversized-comfy-sweatshirt his/her life away. Thankfully, hoods don’t just come on coats, sweatshirts, and monk’s robes anymore. There are hooded sweaters, hooded long sleeve shirts, hooded scarves – I bet there’s even a dress out there somewhere (it is probably ugly as hell, but its existence is likely). I’m not going to lie; hooded sleepwear and hooded cashmere are my favorites. Occasionally the two can be combined to create a really cozy and luxurious night’s sleep. Let’s look at some stuff. 

         That lemony yellow looks soft like butter. Generally if you're putting on a hoodie, you probably aren't interested in being constricted by your apparel. I like that this style has side slits in the bottom cuff so you don't get that weird bubble silhouette that comes from a loose sweater with a tight band across the bottom. And the hood, the most important part, looks big enough to be functional. Here's a fun tip - if you're REALLY cold and in need of some mother kangaroo style smothering, put up the hood and THEN wrap your scarf around the neck. That way your hood stays up, AND your neck doesn't get cold. (This is not a tip for looks, folks, it's all about comfort. You WILL look silly, and people might make fun of you, but when you're feeling snuggled and they're grumpy and nasty, you won't care). 

'Cozy' Cardigan by PJ Salvage $67

       Do you see how happy this woman is? This is definitely loungewear, but could be weekend wear as well. It comes also in olive green. I don't like the olive so much. You could sleep in this. And then you could roll out of bed and go pick apples in it. (Again, we are not going for most stylish weekend dresser here - but this is a long shot away from actually wearing your pajamas out of the house. Can you believe I actually saw someone working at a mall kiosk in their pajama pants last week? Have some dignity. Take pride in your work. AYE AYAY).

Trim Fit Zip Hoodie by
Wallin & Bros $89.50

'Sef' Cardigan by Hugo $97.49

           Let's not exclude the boys. I think I would actually like to wear this zip up myself. It's mostly cotton with a hint of cashmere. It's a very nice way to dress down a dress shirt. And for the guys who don't really like to dress up - this might be a compromise. This other cardigan - for the guy that prefers buttons, is also nice and a tad dressier. Go for the black though. The light grey is too flimsy and it looks like a woman's cardigan. "Daddy, why are you wearing Mommy's clothes?" Not that there's anything wrong with it, but if you're going to dress like a woman, DO IT UP! 

                                                                            This next piece looks like an everyday staple. It's a hoodie that's light enough in weight that you could wear it under..... YES! ANOTHER HOODIE!!!! Double your pleasure, double your fun! Do they even still make Double Mint Gum? I have been known to double up on my hooded sweatshirts when I'm really cold. Paring this with another hooded item would be a bit less bonkers. 

Stripe Hoodie Pullover
by Bobeau $25.20

          

         

         

      Now if you really want to splurge on something (or dream about it - that's what I'll be doing) I have just the thing. The ultimate in cozy. It's technically outerwear, but it's a vest. So, you can wear it inside! You know how much I love Helmut Lang, if you know me personally or have been a faithful reader. This is the coup de grace. Black. Fur. Hooded. Covers your neck! I really recommend you click through to see all the pictures of that piece. Mon Dieu!!! The leather neck is like a cowl. So chic. If you love me a lot, perhaps you could get together as my readership and start a fund to buy this for me as a Christmas present. I can see how my friend Janet might have a problem with this, as she is a rabbit owner. None of the rest of you have any excuses. 

Fontana Hooded Leather Trimmed
Rabbit Gilet by Helmut Lang $1895

           All but the vest are available at Nordstrom. I want to share with you that I received the nicest email from the general manager at Nordstrom in Chicago in response to the blog a while back about Diptyque and their fabulous brand ambassador Michael. It just reinforced for me what a service based company it is from the top down. Having worked with a couple of really gifted managers in my sales days, I know that this is where it needs to start - in management. So, kudos to this company for having such stellar people on staff. That's it for now. I'm going to go put on some more hoodies...

It's Fashion Friday!: It's Still Sodding Summer

Leather free moto-chic. Does anyone do it better
than Helmut Lang?

        It is a fact that many places style-discriminate against bigger girls. My dear friend and I were mother of the bride dress shopping and were borderline size checking, and as soon as we went upstairs to the “Women’s” section the dress colors and shapes became dowdy, frumpy, and dull. It was appalling. Big girls can and want to wear pretty dresses too. They shouldn’t have to wear ugly clothing, just because commercial designers are too lazy and cheap to put the extra time into drafting patterns and styles that fit properly. Frankly, I’d rather see a full-figured woman. Skeletons belong in the closet.

        It has become trendy for fashion magazines to attempt to appeal to the normal-sized people with columns such as Marie Claire’s “Big Girl in a Skinny World.” I don’t often read this column. It’s nothing personal - I don’t read any columns – I usually glance quickly and spend most of my time looking at the pictures. I did decide to read one today, however, because I found the topic a bit “whack” – shall we say? Leathers for Summer.  HOLD IT right there. It’s already wrong. It’s wrong! It’s just wrong. Unless you are spending your summer in the southern hemisphere, in Alaska, northern Scandinavia, or a Grease the movie look-alike convention, Leather. Does. Not. Go. With. Summer. So, when Ms. Nicolette Mason complains, “I loathe the fit issues that come attached to leather jackets. The pleather available for my size-16/18 frame makes me feel sweaty, not sexy—quelle horreur!” I must say, "Darling, the reason you feel sweaty is because it’s still July/August." Look, I'm sick of this oppressive heat too, but donning my leather jackets is not going to spontaneously bring October's mid-weight jacket bliss. You’re not

Zara Denim Biker Jacket $39.99

supposed to wear leather jackets in the middle of the summer. I don’t care what fashion magazine told you it was chic or cool or the new it thing. It is nonsensical – as bad as Ugg boots with mini skirts. Like driving a Lamborghini Gallardo in a snowstorm.

         One of my favorite articles of clothing in my possession is a white Helmut Lang lambskin jacket. It’s as soft and thin as a cotton dress shirt. Even that is not appropriate for summer. Do you know what’s worse than sweating in a tight wool sweater? Sweating in tight leather pants. In July. The handbags Ms. Mason suggests are lovely, if you can afford to put an entire month’s rent towards a handbag. (If only we could!) It is more than doable to put rocker flair into your style without wearing leather! Without even addressing accessories, have we forgotten denim? The oh-so-versatile textile that comes in so many shades? The right denim jacket, in the right shade of dirty, is more moto-chic than any leather jacket. AND, you can wash it. OR, you can run it over with your car, depending on which way you need it to go within that spectrum.

Betsy & Adam Jersey Blouson Dress
(Plus Size) on sale for $125.96

     

Eileen Fisher Silk Blend
Tank (Plus Size) on sale
for $112.56

    One of the style characteristics I’ve always felt added more edge to a garment is asymmetry. Maybe you don’t want to wear a jacket. Again, did I mention it’s summer? I’m pretty sure it was 95 degrees outside at some point in the last week and a half. I don’t know why this top costs so much. And I can’t believe I’m suggesting Eileen Fisher as “rocker chic,” but at least you can see what I’m talking about with this being better than boring. If it’s not daytime, cutouts will definitely sass it up too. I hesitate to suggest that for midafternoon or people might just think you’re walking the street. This dress is cute! Aside from the whole polyester issue… it could be worn with flats or heels (please not too high or you really WILL look like a hooker), and how much motorcycle/rocker you show depends entirely on what kind of jewelry you wear. 

Natasha Couture Long Strand Necklace $18.98;
Topshop Inner Neon Thread Necklace $9.97;
Noir Jewelry Miss Piggy's Pearls $105

         And let’s talk about those accessories shall we? I know I cautioned you on wasting your money on the crap Tom Binns sells; and his line is all about trying to make you think you are a rock star. I say save your money for the good stuff and spend as little on the trendy stuff as possible. And can we take it easy on the spike jewelry? What are you, a pitbull? Don’t be so LITERAL. Lean heavy on the metals, not so much on the colors. Layer textures. Sparkle a little if you want. I might put one of these Natasha necklaces with this Topshop necklace (but doubled up), and perhaps something a little girly like Miss Piggy’s Pearls by Noir Jewelry. 

This would be the splurge.
 It's like a metallic gladiator wedge.
TO DIE FOR. Rue do jour
 'Illiana' $545

        If you’ve done this all correctly, you should be wearing mostly neutral

MIA 'Edie' Flat $40.17

colors. Rockers, at least the ones I like to listen to, don’t dress like Hannah Montana. It’s generally about black, denim, maybe a bit of white, but mostly dark. (Remember, we’re shooting for motorcycle rocker chick, not HIPSTER from Bushwick). This means that for shoes, you should be okay to wear metallic flats! I’ve always said everyone should have a pair of metallic sandals or ballet flats in their arsenal for summer time. And then at long last, you may carry a leather handbag, if you like. I do suggest, however, that you put the cash IN the bag, instead of into the hands of the person who sells you the bag…… (That means NO new Valentino Rockstud bags, Ladies!!!! You can still buy new shoes. Shoes are fair game. Always. And for pete’s sake, enough with the studded Rebecca Minkoff’s).

It's Fashion Friday!: A Highbrow Nose

           All joking aside, I don’t like to toot my own horn. Now I am really chuckling to myself

on the inside since I am sitting in an airport on my way home from an audition where I did exactly that. What I mean is that I am at heart a fairly modest person. So, when I tell you I could sell someone his own foot it is because that is a fact, not because I am bragging. (I must also interject that I wouldn’t do that, and that is one of many reasons I am no longer in the luxury retail business). That being said, I can’t remember the last time I was out-charmed at my own game. No one has “sold” me anything in a long time, that is until this past Sunday.

Eau Lente Eau de Toilette 50 ml $88

            Chicago is one of my favorite cities. I love walking around near the river and the Wrigley building – the architecture is so much different that what you see in New England. I had passed over the river and was walking north, and I was hot. Of course, it’s me, so, I knew the location of a small mall-like building where I could pop in for some air-conditioning (and a walk through Nordstrom). I don’t usually stop in the fragrance section because I already have a bunch of fragrances that I wear and like. (When I found some allergy medications that allowed me to wear them without sneezing or getting headaches it was a pretty exciting day). The Nordstrom on Michigan Ave happens to carry Diptyque, however, and that is not something I can get in Mass.

Limited Edition Minä - Infini $65
"woods, incense, and spices" 

            Some of you may know of Diptyque because of their candles, a cult favorite for years (Isn’t that an odd saying? “Cult favorite.” I don’t think the Moonies used Diptyque candles, and they probably weren’t burning them in Waco TX either. I guess that’s one of those superficial monikers the thinking folk aren’t supposed to overanalyze). People who don’t belong to cults also enjoy Diptyque candles - my mother got one for Christmas, and it has been pleasantly wafting through our family room for months (she’s savoring it). My favorite would have to be the Feu de Bois candle, which smells like firewood. Yankee Candle can take their food-scented candles and eat them. If I want my house to smell like baked goods, I’ll bake something. UGH. Those cake-scented candles are the worst. I feel sick just thinking about them. I’m straying from the path…

            What really swept me in and held my nose hostage were the parfums, and the fact that Michael kept spraying them for me to breathe in while telling me the stories of each one. Product knowledge is a dangerous weapon. When I encounter a skilled seller I must put myself on the offensive – beat them at their own game. I sell the seller the idea of me NOT buying anything, so that I don’t end up leaving poorer. They don’t know what’s happened when I’m done. They’ve played the game right, asked open-ended questions, and done all of the engaging like they were taught, but where is the sale? I have to tell you that I lost this battle. Michael won. Michael won with his charm, and his ability to keep me standing there for at least a half hour, and because these fragrances just smell INTOXICATING. Each one is distinctive and alluring, and not a single one smells like the cheap sorority girl you sat next to at the bar last night.

L'Ombre dans L'Eau solid perfume $48

            I tried on their newest one, Eau Moheli – it was absolutely divine. I can’t even remember what it started as because I am so taken with the light floral scent it faded to by the end of the day. Philosykos, a fig scent, is one of the most interesting fragrances I’ve come across, and not a thing like anything you would find in pedestrian locations such as Target or Home Goods with the word “FIG” printed across it. This was delightfully sweet, and yet not overpowering. It didn’t smell like food, it smelled like sunshine. I also really enjoyed L’Ombre dans L’Eau. These all come in Eau de Toilette, in simple bottles with sketched artwork. There are a variety of sizes for some as well, so people like me, who wish to have many fragrances at their beck and call, can get smaller ones and buy a few. Some even come in solid perfumes to be rubbed on the pulse points. The packaging for such is a near inch in diameter lustrous, black coffer, so heavy in your hands it just feels rich.

            I didn’t purchase any of the prior scents. Michael directed me to a collection of citrus notes we had not yet sampled. These were the pièce de résistance. Citrus is perfect for summer because it’s not heavy. The last thing anyone wants

L'Eau des Hesperides Rollerball $48 - lovely packaging,
isn't it?

to smell in 95-degree heat is an over perfumed 95-year old woman (or the Abercrombie & Fitch store). I was already wearing something at this point, and like I’ve said, I’d been out charmed, so I was going to be purchasing a fragrance without trying it on. This is generally a bad idea, especially for someone like myself who, as I’m sure I’ve mentioned, when sprayed with Chanel Chance ends up smelling like a freshly powdered donut. Michael actually sold me the one he liked, L’Eau des Hesperides, and not the one I would have picked, and my arm has been glued to my nose since. Charming AND skilled. If you like to smell good, I highly recommend you investigate the Diptyque fragrances. And since you’re probably going to have to order them anyway, you should give Michael at the Michigan Ave Nordstrom a call.

It's Fashion Friday!: Protect Your Peepers

           I might have a bit of a sunglasses acquisition issue. They’re such a fun thing to buy. An easy way to give a hint of something new to your appearance. An easy way to hide the squint you’re making at that person who has no idea what they’re talking about. AND they are medically necessary to PROTECT your beautiful peepers from those harmful glorious rays of light raining down from that magnificent ball of gas in the sky. 

       

The Original Wayfarer
in one of their "Rare Prints"
$165

     While particular styles may go in and out of trend, I really believe sunglasses are one area of fashion where people can do what they damn well please. The only guideline is that you attempt to do something that goes well with the shape and color of your face. A lot of fun is out there to be had! There are some standards we all know and love. The Wayfarer by Ray Ban is an older style that has resurfaced with “hipster cool.” Contrary to the belief of everyone living in Park Slope, this is NOT a universally flattering style. They are available in a wide variety of colors, however, so you may be able to find a pair that works for you. I had a pair. I don’t know if I ever showed you their demise, or told you about it, but a quick recap – picture my large, wrapped in a size 11 Saucony sneaker foot, eagerly reaching to make a sticky contact with the floor so I could hold a forearm plank, and instead landing smack in the middle of the lens of my Wayfarers. The SOUND! OH. I think it was as if the whole world was silent and all I could hear was shatter-crunching.

These are fun! Prada 'Baroque' will leave you
broke - $290 at Nordstrom.



            The beautiful thing about Ray Bans, and any other designer sunglass made by Luxottica Group, is that they can be sent back to them for repairs. And let me tell you, that is a good thing, because this is not a company whose quality I would bank on. Let me rephrase that. Luxottica’s proprietary brands, such as Ray Ban and Persol, are fine. Luxottica’s licensed brands, which would be a huge helping of your designer eyewear: Prada, D&G, Chanel, Ferragamo, Versace, anything you can buy at Lenscrafters… not so great. The most recent pair of eyeglasses (we all know how much those cost) I purchased actually started to flake at the temples – not a happy girl. Anyways, I will be sending back my Ray Bans with a request for assistance – I’ll let you know how that goes. The extra helpful people at Lenscrafters told me it would be cheaper to just buy a brand new pair. I don’t think so.

Mmmm. McQueen. $340.

             Safilo Group is the other designer eyewear licensing monster. They handle the accounts of Dior, Bottega Veneta, Alexander McQueen, Saint Laurent, and Marc Jacobs, among others. I recently acquired a pair of My Lady Dior’s in honor of my friend Janice. Janice got herself a beautiful Lady Dior handbag while we were working together at Anthropologie and now we can match. I am already excited by the improvement in quality of these glasses over those by Luxottica. I had noticed a piece on the temple was a bit loose the other day, you know how sometimes you can wiggle the joint between the front frame and the side up and down and back and forth? It was easily tightened with a jeweler’s screwdriver and on a cheaper pair of frames it would most likely have been glued. 

            Enough shop talk. The bottom line is, as long as the sunglasses you purchase are

Floral Square Frames. $5.80!! Now THAT'S
my price range. Forever21.

100% UV Protection, you are good to go! I tend to also prefer my sunglasses to be without nose pieces as I also use mine to keep the hair out of my face when I go indoors, and those little things get caught in hair. It's pretty embarrassing to have your sunglasses dangling from the side of your head when you want them on your nose. I say it’s good to have at least one really nice pair that you take good care of, and then have a bunch of cheap ones to put in every purse, in the car, in the kitchen, in your gym bag, anywhere you might find yourself squinting. TJ Maxx is a great place to get cheap sunglasses AND cheaper good sunglasses. Department store outlets are also great places to get cheaper good sunglasses. I tend to want to pay less as mine always seem to meet an untimely end. My favorite pair of purple Missoni sunglasses? My boss from hell THREW THEM AWAY. And then she lied about it. Pretended she knew nothing. It was the moment she told me “You know what? I want to buy you a new pair of sunglasses. I just feel so bad that your sunglasses went missing,” that gave her away. That was before she knew they were Missoni. I never told her I got them at TJ Maxx. I let her think that I paid hundreds of dollars for them. She was a horrible person.

       

There's always the vintage route.
$18.90 on Etsy.

     Before that, I had the one pair of Armani sunglasses I paid full price for. I had purchased them with my brother, at his encouragement. I loved them to death. They actually had a long life, before I forgot that I had taken them off and put them in my lap while I was driving. I then got out of the car. They fell onto the pavement. AND I STEPPED ON THEM. They were a wrap around style, very delicate, sort of frameless. And then they were a patterned style. Made everything look like spider webs.

            The moral of this story is to deck out your face with fun frames. Don’t spend to much. Buy what you like. If you can take care of it, go ahead and invest! If not, keep it cheap and don’t get too attached. Check out this lady!