It's Fashion Friday!: Bruins and Marigolds

Plant these! These marigolds act
as organic nematode
 control from Burpee.

    I don’t know what it is lately, but I just can’t get enough of the color marigold. Perhaps it is because it is time to plant the marigolds. The dandelions are out in full force and I LIKE IT. The little wild strawberries have their happy flowers littering the grass outside the pipe shop where I work part of the week. Or, maybe, IT’S HOCKEY PLAYOFFS!!!!!!! I get equally excited about the Bruins winning and the end of hard frost season (time to start my container jungle). 

Coming soon, to my eyelashes
via Chanel.

           This yellow kick is so out of control this spring, I even bought yellow mascara. That’s right, I am going to paint my eyelashes the color of road paint. You’ve seen blue and purple already…. Have I lost my mind? Could be. You’ll know before I do! Let’s celebrate Bruins wins, petunia planting, and insanity with a couple of sunshine inspired delights.
       

I just can't get enough Prada footwear -
it's so comfortable.

            I have been searching for an acceptable summertime wedge sandal for more than one summer. I thought I found one I liked yesterday – it was made by Camper – and it was on sale. I like Campers. They’re comfortable. They’re a little pricey though. It’s funny how my pricing rationalization works. An example would be: I refuse to pay more than $4-6 for a t-shirt. In the same shopping trip you could watch me decide that it was completely reasonable to spend $30 on one bottle of nail polish. So, these Campers I saw were on sale for $99 (good price for Campers!). I just didn’t like them enough to pay that much for them. Conversely, this Prada wedge is FANTASTIC! And I am not at all appalled by the $520 price tag (maybe a tiny bit, but not much). I just don’t have the money to buy them. I guess this is strike one for my sanity. 

Squishy, sunny, carryall.

            I’ve been over Marc Jacobs for a while. I think he’s over-branded himself. It’s not about fashion with him - it’s about selling his name. EH. Get over yourself. That’s what I say. Every now and again, however, I still see things that tickle my fancy. This tote bag, for instance, is awfully cheery. The price is ridiculous, at $200 (Rational Sarah is back). I could make this bag for you. I’m guessing time and supplies would be under $40. I also would not quilt Marc Jacobs’ name into it. It would probably say “Go Bruins” (for the record, Krug scored his first goal as I typed that) or “Monsanto sucks.” 

            Balenciaga’s Arena Classic City bag is available in this lovely color this season – they call it Mangue. Yes, I’m crazy to even mention

$$$$$$$

it. The bag costs $1545. It’s ridiculous to spend this much on a handbag. That’s a mortgage/rent payment. I must mention though, I saw an awful lot of Balenciaga bags on young ladies’ arms when I was in NYC a couple of weekends ago. What I’d like to know is how these ladies can afford BOTH. Last time I checked, living in NYC wasn’t inexpensive. Anyways…. 

OUCH. My eyes.

            Yellow is a tricky color to wear, which is why accessories are often the easiest way to get this color into your wardrobe. Always try this color on in natural light before making a permanent commitment to anything. If this means taking something home to try it so you can get something other than that odd fitting room glow, do it! (This is what generous return policies are for). Sometimes it’s good to get a second opinion as well. Love is blind – the dress may be pretty, but not so pretty on you. Sorry. It’s life! We all have things we can’t wear. I can’t wear greenish yellows or halter neck dresses (unless I’m trying to pass for a member of the USA Olympic swim team). 
           Maybe if you can’t wear yellow, you can get these pants for your boyfriend to wear when he goes golfing. I’m kidding. These are awful. They may be the right colors to cheer for the Bruins, but your boyfriend will look like he passed out drunk in the middle of the road after the Bruins game, and got run over by the road-line painting truck. Hey, isn’t it nifty that ALL the roads in America are black, yellow, and white? Take that, Rangers! (We win game one as I write this blog... mission accomplished. Do you have a victory dance?) 

It's Fashion Friday!: Monstrous Marketing Muck-ups

            Whenever I find myself in an airport, I can’t resist buying a magazine. It’s pretty much the only time I spend the money on print media. I find that looking at pictures on airplanes is an acceptable activity. Looking at pictures and sleeping. Now I own a laptop, so a whole new world has been opened. As you’re getting to know me I can hear you thinking, “Sarah, do something different? No way! She bought a magazine anyway!” It’s true. I did. And as much as I wanted to buy the copy of The Economist calling out to me with it’s headlining article about the crisis in Syria, my shallow side won out and I picked up the latest issue of Vogue with the sole intention of reading it to rip it apart. What is it I have against Vogue, you ask? I don’t know. Maybe I just never forgave them for eliminating their horoscope section.

This is not appealing unless you are a
purple martian looking for a new bathrobe.

            Lucky for Ms. Wintour and her bland publication, I didn’t even get to their content before I found myself completely overwhelmed with distaste directly resultant from marketing failures. Did I go to sleep and miss some sort of shift in reality? I was under the impression that print advertisements, especially fashion print marketing, were to entice and encourage you to desire and purchase product. An effective marketing spread makes me not only want the clothing, shoes, and jewelry that the model is wearing, but also the life, looks, and location of the model. I want to BE the model. I want to be standing by that pool, drinking the martini, wearing the diamonds, having the perfectly tailored chiffon empire-waisted gown gently floating in the breeze as my pool boy waits for further instructions.  Right?

            Well, I opened up the August 2012 issue of Vogue and found myself staring at Lindsey Wixson decked out in giant purple slabs of agate (Maybe? That’s what it looked like. I’m no gemologist), with the most dreadful lilac space age bob, carrying a rock-like minaudière that resembled a coffin for a boutonnière, sporting all black Chanel. Perhaps in a different setting Karl Lagerfeld’s designs would have been appealing, but I looked at that picture and thought, “Good grief I don’t EVER want to look like that.” 

Hat trashcans - the portable way to make sure you have somewhere
to dispose of your recycling after lunch.

            Not many pages later, I found myself staring at some print from Louis Vuitton (they just can’t catch a break with me this month). Now I will say, the handbags these young ladies were photographed with were somewhat smart. I could like them in a different setting. The stylists RUINED it. These girls have upside down trashcans on their head. Felted wool trashcans. Millinery on LSD. No, scratch that. On LSD they’d at least be in pretty colors. It’s Millinery on meth. Toothless, dirty, ugly hats. The peasants in My Fair Lady had nicer hats. 

Little Miss Muffet sat under her tuffet, watched Edward
Scissorhands, and lost her mind (in quadruplicate).

            Even so, LV doesn’t take the cake for the worst showing in the magazine. It’s funny - these are the kind of weird photographs I expect from D&G, Miu Miu, Balmain, and the like….in comparison their ads were so tame. The winner of the worst editorial marketing photo of the year is…… drum roll….. Juergen Teller for Marc Jacobs!!!!! When you turn the page and see a bunch of dumpy anorexic girls in white cake makeup, with faux? Real? Fur hats (although they were big enough to be tuffets for Pomeranians), dowdy sweaters and brocade jackets, and think “Is THAT JOHNNY DEPP?” you know you’re in trouble. I don’t want to look like Johnny Depp. I don’t want to wear a fur tuffet on my head. And I certainly don’t want to hang out with anorexic girls in ugly sweaters. I want pretty dresses, diamonds, and pool boys. If anyone in your marketing department told you otherwise, they were sadly mistaken. 

It's Fashion Friday!: Polka Dots - Art or Affliction? Yayoi Kusama for LV Unveiled

Yayoi Kusama at the Serpentine Gallery in 2000 with her work
 Dots Obsession. Photograph: Graham Turner

Japan’s Yayoi Kusama …… Some say she’s the greatest contemporary artist to come out of Japan. Art is completely subjective, but I have to believe those people are wrong. My most recent experience with the work of Kusama was in print. I happened upon an edition of Alice In Wonderland that has been published with her illustrations. They say a picture is worth a thousand words, but the combination of the perfect illustration with a story can have an unparalleled impact. I happen to recall, as a child, seeing a disturbing image of a man’s drooping face alongside a story in a collection of works by Lewis Carroll and being frightened to the bone. An ill-placed illustration just leaves the reader confused. This Alice in Wonderland is just a whole lot of confusing. The illustrations are at best cute, but they don’t make sense to the story.

            Let’s talk Louis. Let’s talk Louis and Yayoi. Yayoi Kusama’s “thing,” if you will, is polka dots. She is famous for covering things in polka dots. Louis Vuitton has often collaborated with artists for limited edition collections. You may remember my favorite, the Takashi Murakami smiling cherry blossom monogram bags. I generally think paying large quantities of money for handbags carrying other people's initials is a laughable activity, but even I wanted one of those bags. Marc Jacobs, artistic director at LV, decided the brand should collaborate with Ms. Kusama. And now we have a lot of dots. Dots, dots, and more dots covering the monogrammed prints and textures.

           

            The line has only been launched this week (Tuesday, while I was busy complaining about the bookstore where I discovered the Alice in Wonderland edition). Perhaps it’s too soon to tell how people will react. I am not impressed. I admit, I do not care for Ms. Kusama’s art in general. I hesitate to even call it art. 

3.1 Phillip Lim Homage
to Roy Lichtenstein

            It is less artistic than the pop art of Roy Lichtenstein, which, coincidentally, you could also be wearing this season. 3.1 Phillip Lim has some Lichtenstein-inspired pieces for pre-Fall 2012 (such as The Break-Up at Netaporter). This PVC handbag titled The Break-Up is actually just a barely modified version of the face of the blonde woman in Lichtenstein's work Kiss V. While also not my style, it's fun. 
            Don’t get me wrong - the Kusama line for Louis is fun, lively, and colorful. Some of the pieces are cute. I’d probably wear some of the accessories if they happened to appear as gifts in my closet. Is it new and revolutionary? No. Seurat did dots, long before Kusama, and to a much more impressive effect. Are they stunning, mind-blowingly beautiful clothes? No. Is the line distinctive enough that people will see it and know, “Wow, that’s limited edition Yayoi Kusama for LV!”? Probably not. It doesn’t really look any different than anything that might appear in the average Moschino line. Would it be cheaper to let me paint polka dots on your LV monogram bag? Of course. Is it art? You know how I feel. You decide.