This should be required reading. |
“Is that
your daughter?”
“No, she’s my
friend’s.”
“Oh. Do you
have any kids?”
“No.”
“Are you
married?”
“No.”
“Why not?”
SERIOUSLY BUDDY?! Just let me pay for my breakfast. At that
moment, an animated vignette was playing out in my brain where all of the
diner’s dinnerware was flying off the shelves at this guy’s head. How
inappropriate was that interrogation? He didn’t even know my name! It was
almost as offensive as the bad posture, pushed out gut, beckoning of the “AW
When are you due??” question. NEVER ask a woman when she’s due. NEVER! THREE
times(!)I’ve been asked if I was pregnant. And they were all in the course of a
month, and once even by another woman. No folks – not pregnant – JUST drinking
too much. I think the response I gave to the woman was “Uh, actually, I’m just
fat.” Ludicrous.
Similarly,
women who are actually pregnant seem to have the issue that their own body
becomes public property. People they don’t know and will never know all of a
sudden believe it is their God given right to fondle these women’s tummies.
Baby belly molestation, I say. What are they to do? I’m sure what they want to
do is smack the bejesus out of these strangers – scream “Get your hands off me!
I’m not a petting zoo!”
It baffles
me that in a society where people have lost the ability to converse with
strangers there still exists this over the line inappropriate social
interaction. How do we get back to the basics? “Hi, I’m Bob. What’s your name?
Nice to meet you.” Little kids know how to do this. What is wrong with the
grownups? I met a really polite homeless person in Chicago. His name was Tony.
He hadn’t forgotten any of these formalities. I stopped to give him some money
and look him in the eyes (as I suggest you do every homeless person you
encounter – please acknowledge their existence. They’re not invisible). We had
a short chat, but it began with “Hi, I’m Tony. I’ve been homeless for two
years. They call me Tony the homeless person. What’s your name?” Was that
difficult? No. Then he called me an angel, which was sweet and unnecessary. The
conversation ended with “Bye. Have a good day!”
Miss
Manners would have approved. The conversation had a beginning, middle, and an
end. People should talk to one
another. I don’t understand why everyone’s so afraid to interact with
strangers. We have more in common than we let on. I just wish that there would
be a little bit of propriety in the interaction. Does it need to be taught by
the parents? Can people find it somewhere else? I remember one client at
Ferragamo who told me that he had beautiful feet and that it ran in his family.
The customer is always right and sometimes you just have to smile and nod when
the occasional oddball goes off on something like that. He really got out of
line though. His son was with him, whose name I can’t remember. We’ll call him
Jake. “Jake, show her your feet! Show her! Take your shoes off!” Oh man, I
really don’t need to look at your teenage kid’s feet. Please just buy the shoes
and leave. He was taking his socks off. “Do you want to touch them? Aren’t they
lovely?” Yes sir, they are nice feet. No, I do not need to touch them. What is
wrong with you? What is wrong with people? Could we take a few steps back and
at least pretend to be civilized?