Leather free moto-chic. Does anyone do it better than Helmut Lang? |
It is a fact that many places style-discriminate against
bigger girls. My dear friend and I were mother of the bride dress shopping and
were borderline size checking, and as soon as we went upstairs to the “Women’s”
section the dress colors and shapes became dowdy, frumpy, and dull. It was
appalling. Big girls can and want to wear pretty dresses too. They shouldn’t
have to wear ugly clothing, just because commercial designers are too lazy and
cheap to put the extra time into drafting patterns and styles that fit
properly. Frankly, I’d rather see a full-figured woman. Skeletons belong in the
closet.
It has
become trendy for fashion magazines to attempt to appeal to the normal-sized
people with columns such as Marie Claire’s “Big Girl in a Skinny World.” I
don’t often read this column. It’s nothing personal - I don’t read any columns
– I usually glance quickly and spend most of my time looking at the pictures. I
did decide to read one today, however, because I found the topic a bit “whack”
– shall we say? Leathers for Summer. HOLD IT right there. It’s already wrong. It’s
wrong! It’s just wrong. Unless you are spending your summer in the southern
hemisphere, in Alaska, northern Scandinavia, or a Grease the movie look-alike
convention, Leather. Does. Not. Go. With. Summer. So, when Ms. Nicolette Mason
complains, “I
loathe the fit issues that come attached to leather jackets. The pleather
available for my size-16/18 frame makes me feel sweaty, not sexy—quelle
horreur!” I must say, "Darling, the reason you feel sweaty is because it’s
still July/August." Look, I'm sick of this oppressive heat too, but donning my leather jackets is not going to spontaneously bring October's mid-weight jacket bliss. You’re notZara Denim Biker Jacket $39.99 |
One of my favorite
articles of clothing in my possession is a white Helmut Lang lambskin jacket.
It’s as soft and thin as a cotton dress shirt. Even that is not appropriate for
summer. Do you know what’s worse than sweating in a tight wool sweater?
Sweating in tight leather pants. In July. The handbags Ms. Mason suggests are
lovely, if you can afford to put an entire month’s rent towards a handbag. (If
only we could!) It is more than doable to put rocker flair into your style
without wearing leather! Without even addressing accessories, have we
forgotten denim? The oh-so-versatile textile that comes in so many shades? The
right denim jacket, in the right shade of dirty, is more moto-chic than any
leather jacket. AND, you can wash it. OR, you can run it over with your car,
depending on which way you need it to go within that spectrum.
Betsy & Adam Jersey Blouson Dress (Plus Size) on sale for $125.96 |
Eileen Fisher Silk Blend Tank (Plus Size) on sale for $112.56 |
Natasha Couture Long Strand Necklace $18.98; Topshop Inner Neon Thread Necklace $9.97; Noir Jewelry Miss Piggy's Pearls $105 |
And let’s talk about
those accessories shall we? I know I cautioned you on wasting your money on the
crap Tom Binns sells; and his line is all about trying to make you think you are
a rock star. I say save your money for the good stuff and spend as little on
the trendy stuff as possible. And can we take it easy on the spike jewelry? What are
you, a pitbull? Don’t be so LITERAL. Lean heavy on the metals, not so much on
the colors. Layer textures. Sparkle a little if you want. I might put one of
these Natasha necklaces with this Topshop necklace (but doubled up), and perhaps something a little girly
like Miss Piggy’s Pearls by Noir Jewelry.
This would be the splurge. It's like a metallic gladiator wedge. TO DIE FOR. Rue do jour 'Illiana' $545 |
If you’ve done this all correctly, you should be wearing mostly neutral
colors.
Rockers, at least the ones I like to listen to, don’t dress like Hannah
Montana. It’s generally about black, denim, maybe a bit of white, but mostly
dark. (Remember, we’re shooting for motorcycle rocker chick, not HIPSTER from
Bushwick). This means that for shoes, you should be okay to wear metallic flats! I’ve always said everyone should have a pair of metallic sandals or
ballet flats in their arsenal for summer time. And then at long last, you may carry a leather handbag, if you like. I do
suggest, however, that you put the cash IN the bag, instead of into the hands
of the person who sells you the bag…… (That means NO new Valentino Rockstud bags, Ladies!!!! You can still buy new shoes. Shoes are fair game. Always. And
for pete’s sake, enough with the studded Rebecca Minkoff’s).
MIA 'Edie' Flat $40.17 |
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