I love fur outerwear. I’m not a vicious, animal-hating, evil, barbarian. I like to be warm. I am cold 99% of the time. I’m the person you see wearing a hooded sweatshirt inside when it’s 95 degrees out. And when the temperature drops below 20 degrees, I will have to have on about 5-6 layers of clothing to regulate to a normal temperature. Putting a fur layer in there cuts that in half. It’s practical. Down filled quilted garments are also warm, but it is somewhat easier to walk around in a fur vest than it is to walk around in a sleeping bag. Not all fur garments are created equal. And I certainly wouldn’t want to look like a drowned rat or a CGI wolf from the Twilight trilogy that happened to get caught in a Tsunami. I still want my fur “whatever-it-is” to be fashionable. There are lines, however, that shouldn’t be crossed, if… I don’t even know how to end this sentence.
|Chanel. Blue mink helmet.|
GAH! EGADS! What the hell is that?! Exactly. Whatever you’re thinking. Yes. That’s it. BOOM. Joan of Arc just became a Smurf, took an acid trip, flew to the moon, watched the Gladiator movie, and had John Galliano mold her a helmet out of a blue foam yoga block! Actually, it’s Chanel and it’s mink. Poor, poor, mink. I know they’re mean little creatures, but this seems unjust posthumous treatment even for them. I think I saw somewhere these things cost about 3g’s. Karl, what were you thinking?
|Fendi. Photo by Filippo Fior.|
This is EASILY a $15,000 coat.
I wish I were joking with that number.
Next in the lineup, we have the amazing cracked out Technicolor Millipede that Joseph found in his Dream-coat after not having it dry-cleaned for a long, long time. Or is it a crustacean? Regardless of what kind of bug it most resembles, Fendi put it there. And, oh what a surprise, Karl Lagerfeld had a hand in this too. There were a few covetable pieces in this line, but after reviewing the still shots of the Fall 2013 looks I can only advise Mr. Lagerfeld of one thing. Buddy, really, YOU HAVE A GAS LEAK IN YOUR HOUSE.
|Creative Recreation. $190 a pair at Barneys.|
Each one of these mittens
is larger than her ENTIRE ass.
|Is it a Rorschach? Is it bird flock|
excrement? Or just a weird
design? I don't know.