Tuesday, March 12, 2013

You Gotta Fight For Your Right To Burn 60 WATT INCANDESCENT LIGHT BULBS!!!!

I just love that tungsten curly q.

           I’ve been all ruffled up about a particular “none of the government’s Fudging business” topic for years now. Congress and the environmentally road-to-hell-paving dimwits decided that it was in the best interest of the marmots and the American people to phase out the incandescent light bulb. Oh, that’s a bit inaccurate. Let me modify that. The LOBBYISTS for the $0 TAX DOLLAR paying GENERAL ELECTRIC, Phillips, and Sylvania, decided that we should not any longer be able to buy MINIMAL PROFIT CREATING incandescent light bulbs. (Better?) Instead, some energy requirements were put in place demanding efficiencies on light bulbs that would gently guide (force) the American public to buy those horrendous CFL squiggle fluorescent bulbs.
            I don’t know about you, but I HATE fluorescent lighting. Not only do I find the color (garish YUCK hospital white), brightness, and that god damned high-pitched hum the bulbs make unbelievably offensive, but also they are yet another one of my migraine triggers. They give many people seizures, as well. And, they are filled with mercury. So, if you break one, you can’t just sweep it up. You instead have to call Hazmat, or follow the 11-step process provided by the EPA and hope that your child and pets do not decide to try and play with or eat the magically evasive shiny alien like substance as it dances all over your floor (I'm not using commas anymore, did you notice?). If you break it on carpet, they actually recommend that you CUT THE CARPET OUT. Pretty. That will look so nice with your environmentally conscious overly bright hospital lighting. If you manage to not break the bulb and just use it to the end of its life, it’s supposed to be discarded at special disposal centers instead of in the trash. To quote Sweet Brown, “Ain’t nobody got time for that!”
            I’m sure that people who are in support of this kakameme (is there a proper spelling for that term?) plan supported by botoxed-bimbo Nancy Pelosi might tell you that it will create jobs. (Have you ever encountered such rage related to lightbulbs? I'm like an 85 year old man... sheesh.) Correct me if I’m wrong, but I think GE closed some factories in the US that were making incandescent light bulbs – that would be a loss of jobs. CFL’s are probably made in China, like everything else these days. They’ll tell you “You’ll save money in the long run!” Whether or not that is true, I DON’T HAVE TIME FOR THE LONG RUN. I am broke NOW. I don’t have $30 to shell out for a shitty, ugly light bulb. I want my cheap, soft, romantic light bulb NOW. And when it breaks, I want to throw it in the trash AT THAT MOMENT. I don’t want to have to put it in a special lock box and take it to a disposal center, when I finally have a car again. I have enough problems with trash buildup in my life. It took me until I was 30 years old to realize it was okay to throw out socks with holes in them! I don't need to be STORING BROKEN LIGHT BULBS FULL OF MERCURY!!!!!!!!!!!
            As for the whole saving energy kaka bologna hoo haa bullshit…. I can tell you right now a whole SLEW of things I see on a regular basis that waste a whole lot more energy than the lamp in my bedroom with the 60 watt light bulb that only produces 15 lumens of light per watt (whatever that means). For one, how about all of the televisions and 24-hour lit up advertisements in shopping malls? Is any of that really necessary? I've been in the mall in the early hours of the morning. I assure you they don't turn any of that stuff off. Noise pollution and energy waste. And now, we have television like billboards! There’s no way those use less energy than the old-fashioned papered billboard with a few lights when it’s dark out. Fancy lighting to make bridges look cool. That one’s a real zinger since it’s paid for by your tax dollars. I’m specifically thinking about the Zakim Bridge in Boston. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t want them to stop lighting it up. I love those blue lights. It would be nice, however, if there could be a little bit less hypocrisy and a little more common sense. OH and a little bit less DEMAND for SACRIFICE from the common folk so that UNCLE SAM’S BUDDIES can HAVE MORE. And, MAYBE, stop wasting tax dollars passing bills ABOUT LIGHT BULBS and GET RID OF THE DAMNED DEFICIT.

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