|Woe is me. The HORROR.|
Dear vermin of the insect world (moth and caterpillar, I am talking to YOU),
I have HAD it with your shenanigans. In spring and summer you cut the leaves of my plants up making really half-assed, ugly scherenschnitte. If you’re going to do it, at least do it right. Don’t just bite half the leaf off and leave. Fall and winter comes and I think I’m done with you for a while, and then I go to put on my favorite warm sweaters. The time I took out a comfy United Colors of Benneton sweater and found six tiny holes up at the neck, I was mad, but I found it in my heart to forgive you. That sweater was synthetic so I figured what you ate would probably kill you anyway (sweet justice). Then, you punched a little harder when you multiple hole punched my cobalt blue Club Monaco merino v-neck. Yes, it was my favorite color. Yes, it was my favorite sweater style. Yes, it was soft. And yes, you made it unwearable. I was angry, but lucky for you, Club Monaco was selling blue v-necks in almost the same shade of blue that year so I just replaced it. But THIS. THIS was personal. When I took out my silk/cashmere blend, sea green, Emilio Pucci, soft-as-heaven v-neck sweater and found a hole the size of a lima bean on the side and another hole in the shoulder… that was just too much. At that moment, I vowed, NO spider left behind. I will make sure that not a single spider in this old house goes unfed. If I have to pick you creatures up and deliver you to their webs in the basement and attic myself, it is not too great a task. Screw you little moths. You suck.
Seriously though, does anyone have a solution? I have hunks of cedar all over my closet and bureau, and none of it seems to dissuade the pesky little buggers. Does anyone have any advice on how to keep the moths away?