Tuesday, March 19, 2013

The Pig Farm Effect

Photo borrowed from blog at Thirty One Bits

           I had a gig this past weekend (WOOHOO break out the champagne a WORKING MUSICIAN! Too bad champagne gives me a headache, unless you buy Veuve-Cliquot … on a side note, does anyone have one of those cool plastic refrigerator boxes that those bottles come in? I’ve been coveting one of those for a while). We were playing Tchaikovsky’s 6th Symphony, the best one, honestly. It gets quite loud several times and I was playing fourth horn, which means that I was sitting next to the timpani. I think nothing of this. The timpanist, who has obviously had people complain about his volume levels before, engaged me to say that he was sorry because he was going to have some really loud notes and he wasn’t sure what I was going to do. “Maybe we can get a music stand to stick in between or something.” I said it wasn’t a big deal and he shouldn’t worry, which was the truth. I play one of the loudest instruments in the orchestra. I’ve had my hearing tested fairly recently and it’s fine. I’m not concerned. I like loud. I like excitement. I’m a brass player. I chose to be a musician. If I didn’t want to deal with LOUD, I wouldn’t have picked ORCHESTRAL MUSICIAN as a career path. At the very least, I would not have picked the back row. 
            My mom has a saying. “It’s the whole pig farm thing – you can’t move into a house next door to a pig farm and then complain about the smell.” Right? The world seems to have gotten upside down about which things they should try to change and which things they shouldn’t. There are a BUTTLOAD of things in the world that need to change. Legitimate issues that could really use our attention, such as starving children in Kenya, women who have virtually no rights in parts of the middle east, gay people having to go into hiding in Russia lest children might SEE them, possible runs on the banks in Cyprus because their government is thinking about just taking their money.  People seem way more interested in focusing on things that aren’t going to change, such as institutions, people other than themselves, and things that have already happened.  
At the forefront of the news headlines, we have a new Pope! I’m pretty excited about this guy because he seems like a real character. He’s already made a break for it and escaped his security detail so that he could not go out and party, but go to church. I find that immensely entertaining. Sneaking out to go to church. When you’re the Pope. Anyways, it seems that many people are upset about this new Pope because he is conservative and believes in the doctrine of the Catholic church (i.e. doesn’t think there should be female priests, isn’t going to vote for gay marriage, celebrates Mariahimmelfahrt – that’s my favorite Catholic holiday (in German) – because how much fun is that to say? In English it’s just Mary’s Assumption, not so exciting).
            So… the Pope believes in the doctrine of the religion he is supposed to be the head honcho of. I’m sorry, I don’t see a problem. Do I think women should be priests? I don’t know. Do I think gay marriage should be legal? YES. Guess what. I’M NOT CATHOLIC! If you don’t like the tenets of the church, LEAVE! I was brought up in a Methodist church. I didn’t like it. I stopped going to that one too!!! There are a host of religions out there to choose from. So why would you pick one that you don’t agree with, and then expect it to change to meet your needs? Pig farm. Next thing you know people are going to start saying Buddha needs to be portrayed as thinner because he’s setting a bad dietary example. Or maybe we should get the Hindi to remove the extra limbs from their deities so as not to exclude amputees.
            People have this way of wanting to be a part of something and not wanting what goes along with it. They want what their neighbor has but with special treatment. Suzie wants to play on the boys’ football team instead of the girls’ one, but she wants her own bus to the away games because the boys smell bad. Nick wants to live in an apartment with other people so he doesn’t have to pay as much, but doesn’t ever want to have to clean the bathroom because he’s just too good for that. Becky wants to have a full-time job and make money over the summer, but she thinks she should be able to take off whenever she wants without notice because summers are for hanging out with friends!
            These are strange times we live in here in America. Everyone feels entitled to his slice of something. I’m not exactly sure what that something is… There are things out there that aren’t a matter of majority rules. If you are not forced to be in a particular situation, and you CHOOSE to stay in it, don’t expect the situation to mold itself to your needs. That just isn’t how life works. When was the last time you saw a penguin fly to the desert and expect the ocean to flood it so it could swim around? Please. I think the real reason that people pretend they want to change situations they have chosen to be in is because people like to complain. I have a saying of my own, “People don’t want to try and change things that could actually change, because then they would have to do real work.” 

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