It's Fashion Friday!: Return Of The Hoodie Monster

            I love this time of year. It starts to get chilly enough to wear hooded sweatshirts! People I work with will tell you that I was wearing hooded sweatshirts during the summer when it was 95 degrees out. Yet, this weather means that I can wear hooded sweatshirts ALL THE TIME!!!! And that is excellent news since I’ve been feeling pretty lousy lately with my migraine med switch (have I mentioned that I don't recommend ever taking Topamax for migraine?? just. say. no.). Hoodies are like little cocoons that you never have to come out of. No metamorphosis necessary – just a happy place to hide. A nest of warmth and the closest I can get to mimicking the brilliant avoidance skills of a turtle.

Honeycomb Stitch Cashmere Hoodie
by Autumn Cashmere $365

            I’m lucky enough to have the required uniform at my day-job be whatever I feel like wearing to crawl around on dirty concrete, don’t mind getting dirty while inspecting the quality of stainless steel fittings, and is comfortable enough that I could potentially wear from bed to work to bed again. Not everyone, unfortunately, has this luxury of being able to oversized-comfy-sweatshirt his/her life away. Thankfully, hoods don’t just come on coats, sweatshirts, and monk’s robes anymore. There are hooded sweaters, hooded long sleeve shirts, hooded scarves – I bet there’s even a dress out there somewhere (it is probably ugly as hell, but its existence is likely). I’m not going to lie; hooded sleepwear and hooded cashmere are my favorites. Occasionally the two can be combined to create a really cozy and luxurious night’s sleep. Let’s look at some stuff. 

         That lemony yellow looks soft like butter. Generally if you're putting on a hoodie, you probably aren't interested in being constricted by your apparel. I like that this style has side slits in the bottom cuff so you don't get that weird bubble silhouette that comes from a loose sweater with a tight band across the bottom. And the hood, the most important part, looks big enough to be functional. Here's a fun tip - if you're REALLY cold and in need of some mother kangaroo style smothering, put up the hood and THEN wrap your scarf around the neck. That way your hood stays up, AND your neck doesn't get cold. (This is not a tip for looks, folks, it's all about comfort. You WILL look silly, and people might make fun of you, but when you're feeling snuggled and they're grumpy and nasty, you won't care). 

'Cozy' Cardigan by PJ Salvage $67

       Do you see how happy this woman is? This is definitely loungewear, but could be weekend wear as well. It comes also in olive green. I don't like the olive so much. You could sleep in this. And then you could roll out of bed and go pick apples in it. (Again, we are not going for most stylish weekend dresser here - but this is a long shot away from actually wearing your pajamas out of the house. Can you believe I actually saw someone working at a mall kiosk in their pajama pants last week? Have some dignity. Take pride in your work. AYE AYAY).

Trim Fit Zip Hoodie by
Wallin & Bros $89.50

'Sef' Cardigan by Hugo $97.49

           Let's not exclude the boys. I think I would actually like to wear this zip up myself. It's mostly cotton with a hint of cashmere. It's a very nice way to dress down a dress shirt. And for the guys who don't really like to dress up - this might be a compromise. This other cardigan - for the guy that prefers buttons, is also nice and a tad dressier. Go for the black though. The light grey is too flimsy and it looks like a woman's cardigan. "Daddy, why are you wearing Mommy's clothes?" Not that there's anything wrong with it, but if you're going to dress like a woman, DO IT UP! 

                                                                            This next piece looks like an everyday staple. It's a hoodie that's light enough in weight that you could wear it under..... YES! ANOTHER HOODIE!!!! Double your pleasure, double your fun! Do they even still make Double Mint Gum? I have been known to double up on my hooded sweatshirts when I'm really cold. Paring this with another hooded item would be a bit less bonkers. 

Stripe Hoodie Pullover
by Bobeau $25.20

          

         

         

      Now if you really want to splurge on something (or dream about it - that's what I'll be doing) I have just the thing. The ultimate in cozy. It's technically outerwear, but it's a vest. So, you can wear it inside! You know how much I love Helmut Lang, if you know me personally or have been a faithful reader. This is the coup de grace. Black. Fur. Hooded. Covers your neck! I really recommend you click through to see all the pictures of that piece. Mon Dieu!!! The leather neck is like a cowl. So chic. If you love me a lot, perhaps you could get together as my readership and start a fund to buy this for me as a Christmas present. I can see how my friend Janet might have a problem with this, as she is a rabbit owner. None of the rest of you have any excuses. 

Fontana Hooded Leather Trimmed
Rabbit Gilet by Helmut Lang $1895

           All but the vest are available at Nordstrom. I want to share with you that I received the nicest email from the general manager at Nordstrom in Chicago in response to the blog a while back about Diptyque and their fabulous brand ambassador Michael. It just reinforced for me what a service based company it is from the top down. Having worked with a couple of really gifted managers in my sales days, I know that this is where it needs to start - in management. So, kudos to this company for having such stellar people on staff. That's it for now. I'm going to go put on some more hoodies...

It's Fashion Friday!: How An Artist Makes Art Fashionable

"Women" - set of three oil paintings on
 canvas panels $50

           I think it was pretty recently that I was complaining about uninspired, ugly jewelry – AH YES, it was Tom Binns. I told you to chuck it in the garbage last month. If I’m going to wear jewelry that makes a statement, I want it to be a good one. No one makes art into something you can wear better than an artist. I happen to have some friends who are brilliant artists. This is how it’s supposed to be done.

Acrylic Painting on Wood Panels $40

           One of my favorite things that my friend Miran has painted is this set of three oil paintings, Women. There’s something about it that just speaks to me. There is a lot left unsaid in the image of the backs of these women’s heads. And the shapes are something from a more peaceful time. Her Etsy shop, TheThinBlackLine, has some other financially accessible art pieces like sweet paintings for children’s décor and some mosaic work. For a client with a more modern eye she also works with shapes and bright colors. If you like this sort of work, it’s the kind of thing that makes you happy when you look at it. Too bad you can’t take it with you during the day. Or can you?

Yellow Wood Cube necklace with Leather String $95

            What if the artist who creates the work for your home uses her own inspiration to make you something you can wear? This is what happens. A simple painted wood block necklace has all of the angles and color of the panel you might have had in your house compressed into a smaller area. It’s not so much color that it would detract from anything you’re wearing, but it’s enough color to add interest to an outfit. This is the sort of piece that becomes a person’s “signature” jewelry item – which they might wear regularly with different styles. It’s unique and casual enough for daily wear, and it makes a statement. The other exciting thing about a necklace like this? It was handcrafted by an artist (a really NICE one at that!) and not made in China.

            If you want to interpret in Fall 2013 fashion trend standards, the sharp edges and bright colors against black make these a good option for a punk, motochic accessory. I would probably wear shorter or medium length and possibly layer with some other necklaces. Helmut Lang’s fall 2013 line is cubism inspired. I could see these necklaces clicking with almost anything (Speaking of, I happened to walk by the black washed leather hooded leather jacket on a hanger – I was paralyzed and almost started to drool. I think my exact words were, "I want to eat this jacket." I need to win the lottery). You don’t really need me to tell you how to style this necklace though – it’s not clunky, it’s not gaudy, it’s just pretty. Scoop one up while you can!

Necklaces available for purchase at HueWood.

It's Fashion Friday!: It's Still Sodding Summer

Leather free moto-chic. Does anyone do it better
than Helmut Lang?

        It is a fact that many places style-discriminate against bigger girls. My dear friend and I were mother of the bride dress shopping and were borderline size checking, and as soon as we went upstairs to the “Women’s” section the dress colors and shapes became dowdy, frumpy, and dull. It was appalling. Big girls can and want to wear pretty dresses too. They shouldn’t have to wear ugly clothing, just because commercial designers are too lazy and cheap to put the extra time into drafting patterns and styles that fit properly. Frankly, I’d rather see a full-figured woman. Skeletons belong in the closet.

        It has become trendy for fashion magazines to attempt to appeal to the normal-sized people with columns such as Marie Claire’s “Big Girl in a Skinny World.” I don’t often read this column. It’s nothing personal - I don’t read any columns – I usually glance quickly and spend most of my time looking at the pictures. I did decide to read one today, however, because I found the topic a bit “whack” – shall we say? Leathers for Summer.  HOLD IT right there. It’s already wrong. It’s wrong! It’s just wrong. Unless you are spending your summer in the southern hemisphere, in Alaska, northern Scandinavia, or a Grease the movie look-alike convention, Leather. Does. Not. Go. With. Summer. So, when Ms. Nicolette Mason complains, “I loathe the fit issues that come attached to leather jackets. The pleather available for my size-16/18 frame makes me feel sweaty, not sexy—quelle horreur!” I must say, "Darling, the reason you feel sweaty is because it’s still July/August." Look, I'm sick of this oppressive heat too, but donning my leather jackets is not going to spontaneously bring October's mid-weight jacket bliss. You’re not

Zara Denim Biker Jacket $39.99

supposed to wear leather jackets in the middle of the summer. I don’t care what fashion magazine told you it was chic or cool or the new it thing. It is nonsensical – as bad as Ugg boots with mini skirts. Like driving a Lamborghini Gallardo in a snowstorm.

         One of my favorite articles of clothing in my possession is a white Helmut Lang lambskin jacket. It’s as soft and thin as a cotton dress shirt. Even that is not appropriate for summer. Do you know what’s worse than sweating in a tight wool sweater? Sweating in tight leather pants. In July. The handbags Ms. Mason suggests are lovely, if you can afford to put an entire month’s rent towards a handbag. (If only we could!) It is more than doable to put rocker flair into your style without wearing leather! Without even addressing accessories, have we forgotten denim? The oh-so-versatile textile that comes in so many shades? The right denim jacket, in the right shade of dirty, is more moto-chic than any leather jacket. AND, you can wash it. OR, you can run it over with your car, depending on which way you need it to go within that spectrum.

Betsy & Adam Jersey Blouson Dress
(Plus Size) on sale for $125.96

     

Eileen Fisher Silk Blend
Tank (Plus Size) on sale
for $112.56

    One of the style characteristics I’ve always felt added more edge to a garment is asymmetry. Maybe you don’t want to wear a jacket. Again, did I mention it’s summer? I’m pretty sure it was 95 degrees outside at some point in the last week and a half. I don’t know why this top costs so much. And I can’t believe I’m suggesting Eileen Fisher as “rocker chic,” but at least you can see what I’m talking about with this being better than boring. If it’s not daytime, cutouts will definitely sass it up too. I hesitate to suggest that for midafternoon or people might just think you’re walking the street. This dress is cute! Aside from the whole polyester issue… it could be worn with flats or heels (please not too high or you really WILL look like a hooker), and how much motorcycle/rocker you show depends entirely on what kind of jewelry you wear. 

Natasha Couture Long Strand Necklace $18.98;
Topshop Inner Neon Thread Necklace $9.97;
Noir Jewelry Miss Piggy's Pearls $105

         And let’s talk about those accessories shall we? I know I cautioned you on wasting your money on the crap Tom Binns sells; and his line is all about trying to make you think you are a rock star. I say save your money for the good stuff and spend as little on the trendy stuff as possible. And can we take it easy on the spike jewelry? What are you, a pitbull? Don’t be so LITERAL. Lean heavy on the metals, not so much on the colors. Layer textures. Sparkle a little if you want. I might put one of these Natasha necklaces with this Topshop necklace (but doubled up), and perhaps something a little girly like Miss Piggy’s Pearls by Noir Jewelry. 

This would be the splurge.
 It's like a metallic gladiator wedge.
TO DIE FOR. Rue do jour
 'Illiana' $545

        If you’ve done this all correctly, you should be wearing mostly neutral

MIA 'Edie' Flat $40.17

colors. Rockers, at least the ones I like to listen to, don’t dress like Hannah Montana. It’s generally about black, denim, maybe a bit of white, but mostly dark. (Remember, we’re shooting for motorcycle rocker chick, not HIPSTER from Bushwick). This means that for shoes, you should be okay to wear metallic flats! I’ve always said everyone should have a pair of metallic sandals or ballet flats in their arsenal for summer time. And then at long last, you may carry a leather handbag, if you like. I do suggest, however, that you put the cash IN the bag, instead of into the hands of the person who sells you the bag…… (That means NO new Valentino Rockstud bags, Ladies!!!! You can still buy new shoes. Shoes are fair game. Always. And for pete’s sake, enough with the studded Rebecca Minkoff’s).

It's Fashion Friday!: Thank Heavens For Sweatpants

           I used to dress up when I traveled. I’m a firm believer that people judge you by what you look like. Granted, this is not something I support – it’s just an unfortunate reality of the superficial human race. If you’ve ever attempted to travel with an instrument, or any other strangely shaped, large, valuable object, you know that flight attendants and gate personnel can be *ahem* difficult (and that is perhaps a generous adverb). My experience was that if I was flying first class or was dressed as professional as possible (looked like I had money, was a frequent flyer, or someone who might complain in a way that might end in them losing their job), I would be treated with more respect and would likely end up with my instrument safely in the cabin.

            International flights are just TOO long to be worrying about looking nice. Comfort is infinitely more important when it is likely you will be jammed between two people who refuse to allow you to use either of your arm rests for six+ hours. It is times like these when I would like to go on a personal quest to find the soul who decided to remove the elastic from the bottom hems of sweat pants to give a tailored look to the world’s most comfortable fabrics and laud them with kisses and puppies. Tailored sweatpants might just be one of the greatest inventions since the light bulb.

            My friend Janet had requested that I do a write up on cashmere hoodies after last week’s high-end t-shirt teardown. While cashmere hoodies may be the height of frivolity, they are the ultimate luxury when it comes to comfort. With tailored sweatpants, fleece jackets, and dresses crafted of like textiles, anyone can be close to that comfortable without the hefty price tag. Well, unless you decided to buy your comfy clothes at Lululemon.

            I am absolutely DA-ROOLING over this HELMUT by Helmut Lang jacket. It’s $195, so I won’t own it unless I win the lottery or find another job. Nordstrom also carries it in a putty color, which I think is great for fall. A more affordable option (less than half $) would be this similar asymmetrical zip Puma version, which is not as bulky as it looks on the model, and also has a collar that can be flipped up in the back. I’m not going to lie, my mom recently bought this jacket for me as a gift and I’m in love with it. The picture doesn’t do it justice. I’d take a picture of it on myself, but that requires too much effort at this time.        

           The Gap has this lovely French terry dress right now. It’s singing a tune of $49.95, and looks ultra comfortable. It’s not exciting to look at, but that’s not really the point. It could easily be dressed up with belts, shoes, jewelry, scarves, etc. if you really feel the need to stand out in your sweatshirt. The Gap is advertising “Sweatshirt Chic” right now, but sadly do not have any tailored sweatpants. Granted, it is a lot easier to find sweatpants when the weather is cold. Do not misunderstand, nothing that you buy at Victoria’s Secret that has writing on the butt qualifies as tailored sweatpants. Generally for something to qualify as a tailored sweatpant in my book it must have a generous visible hem at the bottom, pockets, and be cut like a normal pair of pants (preferably wide leg). 

           I can’t find anything for sale fitting my stringent requirements, but something close is the EverydayPant from Lucy - $79. If you happen to not be familiar with Lucy, I LOVE LUCY (HA)! They are the American equivalent of Lululemon, but they have sales – ACTUAL sales (i.e. more than $5 off on an $80 product). Another outstanding tip I wish to offer, come winter season clearance sales, are the Neiman Marcus clearance racks in the loungewear sections. Neiman Marcus has an in house brand of “relaxed” wear – what they would consider jogging suits. It’s a joke, really, their designers have clearly never watched anyone jog. Last year I found black cargo sweatpants and a lovely ivory ruched sweatshirt cardigan.

Yes she is wearing a visor. Tennis anyone?

           So, by the time you read this, I will be in Zurich, drinking delicious coffee. I will have worn wide-leg Lululemon yoga pants (most likely), a comfy cowl neck sweatshirt, and Puma ballet flats for my flight. (I realize it is still summer, but transatlantic flights can be awfully chilly, and I am poor so there might not be blankets). I most definitely will not have worn THIS GETUP that I found in the Net-a-porter weekly mag this morning. I am quite certain that if anyone were to show up at the airport looking like this they would quickly find themselves on the do not fly list. Don’t you agree?