Friday, January 3, 2014

It's Fashion Friday!: Long Johns Aren't Just For Guys Named John

The North Face Women's Light Tights - $45
While the emails keep coming from the garment peddlers and the magazines are telling you how to wear what’s “in” in 2014, I want you to know that I wore two pairs of pants to work yesterday – my fat jeans and my foxy pants (the fat jeans being my really too big, super comfortable, almost feel like pajamas jeans and the foxy pants being my workout pants that have a fox and raccoon print on them). My mom made fun of me, but I was actually not freezing my ass off and that was a nice change.
            My general feeling is that when the temperature drops below 20F you can do whatever you need to for warmth, even if that means leaving the house with all the clothes you own on at the same time. It is currently 8 degrees F right here. That’s -13 for you Celsius people. And it’s not going to get much warmer than that today. (Find a mule to insert sarcastic global warming joke here). Most people will not leave their houses – it also snowed so work was preemptively cancelled today. And those who do, like myself, because dammit it’s 8 degrees out and I need my ICED Americano with whipped cream from my local coffee shop/former place of barista-hood, are probably not going to be putting a whole lot of thought into “How do I look today?” At least, if they have any sense, they won’t.
It's winter - wear a coat. The North Face
Women's Metropolis Parka - $289
            It reminds me of the sorority girls who would come out on Thursday nights in the winter in Indiana in scantily clad outfits with no coats. God forbid you have to carry a coat when you are inside a bar. I laughed at those girls. And I will laugh at anyone who acts similarly, unless they get frostbite. That is no laughing matter. So, what do you do when it’s 8 degrees out and you are dying of hypothermia, but can’t wear all of your clothes because then your coat won’t fit? It’s called long underwear, folks. Or if you are like me and don’t want to spend your money on that, or are a stubborn New Englander and don’t need long underwear because you’re from New England and you don’t get cold, you could wear your workout tights under your pants. Layer t-shirts and running shirts under your hoodies and sweaters. There is no shame in that.
The North Face Blended-Merino
Long Sleeve Crewneck - $80
            Lucky for us, there are some batshit crazy people out there who go camping and hiking in this frigid icy wonderland. This has resulted in the creation of some pretty lightweight, warm “baselayers” from companies like The North Face, Patagonia, and LL Bean. Some of the pieces are made of merino wool = soft. Did you know that merino is also flame retardant (in case you totally lose it and decide rolling in a fire is the best way to warm yourself)? And they also make these pieces moisture wicking for the ultra sweaty/active cold people.

            If you want to follow my lead, however, and spend less money, or wear what you own already – anything made for running outdoors is going to be a great under layer. It is designed to keep you warm without weighing you down. Or, you could wear leggings or tights under your pants. This all seems pretty common sense to me, but like I said, there are idiots out there who put their desire to not carry things before their desire to keep their brain at a functional temperature.

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