How Much Is That Doggie In The Window?

         

This is just wrong.

 We can all agree that lying is usually bad, right? And the Oxford Dictionary online defines “lying” as “present a false impression; be deceptive.” WELL, I HAVE A BONE TO PICK WITH SOME PEOPLE IN TOWN. I live in a small town… small-ish…it used to be small. It’s full of residential areas and different shapes of houses. Mudrooms and enclosed porches are fairly common. Storm doors are as common as dirt on the ground. If you don’t know what a storm door is, it’s a second door that goes outside your door-door, usually on a spring hinge (to maximize injury in all poor weather situations), and either with a screen in it if it’s summer time, or hefty glass if it’s winter.

            Most people will close both doors in the winter for added insulation. If you have a mudroom, your house might be insulated apart from the mudroom so you could just have the storm door. A generous pet owner might leave the door-door ajar so that a cat or dog could look out the storm door. Our cat sits in front of the screen door from April through October. There is a house not far from mine, with a storm door and a mudroom, where a beautiful yellow lab puppy sits and watches the traffic until his owners come home from work. Or so I thought.

             “How sweet!” I thought the first time I saw those yearning eyes waiting for their child playmate or food-yielding grownup to return and keep him company. “Aw, that puppy really likes to watch the cars go by,” I commented to myself the next time I saw him in the window. “Have you seen that cute puppy?” I’d ask friends, “He’s always looking out the window.”

            “Are you sure that’s a real dog?” my Mother queried. I thought she was nuts. Why would you have a fake dog? That’s weird. “Oh, he is cute though, you’re right.” Of course, I’m right. It’s a cute puppy. A sweet little lab with a bandana tied around his neck.

            “Sarah, I don’t think that dog’s real. He’s always sitting in the same place, every day, at every time of day,” my Mother tried to crush my dreams again. She can’t just let me be happy. You know? I think that’s a parent child relationship thing. I kept looking at that dog. And I kept looking. And he was there for me always. Always. Always looking in the same direction. Always with the same bandana. Always pulling my heartstrings as he showed no signs of life while sitting in front of that door for months….

            What kind of SICK BASTARD puts a FAKE DOG in the window?! These abhorrent people have shattered my visions of a puppy playing with a child. They have ruined my adoration for a dog constantly wishing for his owners to come home. They have crushed the very soul that brings me breath each day. THEY LIED. And they CONTINUE to lie. That dog – that fake, plastic, fiberglass, WHATEVER, imitation puppy, sits in that damned storm door pretending to look at traffic every freakin’ day. TAUNTING me. Making me JUDGE myself for being so gullible, so full of wonder and childlike emotion.

            Screw you people and your stupid fake dog. I hope one day an elderly person drives into your mudroom with their car and ends that thing’s fake life so I can continue with mine. I will go on and pretend that this horrible LIE never occurred. I will sleep better at night knowing you aren’t shattering other people’s dreams the way you bulldozed mine. <Insert childish sticking out of tongue here>.