Friday, December 14, 2012

It's Fashion Friday!: Is That Dog Wearing A Dress?

           How do you feel about animal apparel? I must say, up until very recently, I thought anyone who clothed their pet was out of their mind. Then, I met Oliver. Oliver is my brother’s French bulldog puppy. Oliver might be the cutest thing you’ve ever seen, and he looks dashing in a hoody. He also looks excellent in a tartan sweater, like a little old man in a puppy body. I don’t want to know how much Oliver’s sweater cost, but I imagine it was close to what I would pay for clothing for myself. Now I find myself looking at apparel for dogs online, for Oliver. The little guy will get cold outside! He only weighs four pounds.
Does my owner think I'm a
Build-a-Bear? If I bite him
will he wake up from this
nightmare I'm living?
            As I browse the manly selections for this treasured addition to my brother’s single parent animal house (he also has a cat, Lionel, and some fish which he bought for Lionel as entertainment), I have been noticing that there are some selections out there that are just as questionable as the Sears formal dress section (have you ever seen so many multicolored sequins mixed with so much spandex in such a small amount of space?). Look at this tiered ruffled red dress I just found on Gilt Group. No self-respecting dog would want to be dressed in this. It’s ridiculous. I don’t even think a child would want to wear this. And this satin cheetah with belt dog dress?! You’ve got to be kidding. Why would you do this to an animal?
I want to poop on this dress. And then I would like
to poop all over the person who put me in it.
            Our pets look to us to take care of them. They trust us to look out for their wellbeing. To rob them of their dignity by forcing them into a getup like this… it should be punishable with jail time. If you’re going to buy clothing for your pets, it should be clothing that you would feel comfortable wearing yourself.
            The one exception would be holiday wear. Antlers, Santa costumes, elf outfits – these things are appropriate for short amounts of time. If you want to put this on your dog for long enough to take a picture, I think that’s probably okay. Again, though, these are rules that you would probably apply to yourself.
            There are things that are just not okay for any amount of time, such as dressing up monkeys in baby clothes. 

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