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| Oh Pacey Witter, you were such a likeable character. Yes, it helped that you were in the Mighty Ducks movies. TOO BAD Fringe SUCKS. |
Once upon a time, I was watching television. That should
probably read “Many upon multiple times.” Anyways, it was a new show and one of
the characters had been on Dawson’s Creek so, obviously, I was going to watch
it. Love for Pacey lasts a lifetime. It turned out that I came to the
conclusion that Pacey had made a horrible decision, most likely under duress or
because of massive gambling debts, and was now being held hostage by a contract
that required him to be in one of the worst television shows of all time. The
show was called “Fringe.”
I don’t
know what happened in the universe, but somehow this asstastic piece of
television turned out to be a hit and remained on the air for several seasons.
I didn’t watch it. I have noticed that the Fox Network seems to really be into
ONE WORD titles for their television series. I watch their one show “Bones.”
It’s about an awkward intelligent character I can relate to. It stars David
Boreanaz. And, it’s funny. Win, win. I’ve also noticed they have another show
on called “Touch.” This I have not watched because it looks really bad. Mostly,
the problem is that it stars Jack Bauer of 24 (yet another one word, well –
number, Fox drama). Kiefer Sutherland character-acted himself out of the
business. He can’t do anything else. Jack Bauer with a mute child. Sounds
riveting – no, it doesn’t.
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| Is it because I loved Buffy the Vampire Slayer that I will never tire of David Boreanaz? Does that make me old? Or just wise? |
I thought
perhaps I could come up with some more ideas for Fox for future one word titled
television dramas.
1.
CHEW – A series chronicling the emotional drama
of an overweight foodie suffering from TMJ. The character would deal with the
actual pain caused by using his jaw while eating while also having to suffer the spiteful
glances of angry politicos wondering if they will be paying for his healthcare
when he has a heart attack. (It’s FOX – there has to be something
controversial).
2.
SAND – A group of college students in Reno for a 24 hour long bachelor party, after getting lost, while wasted, at the tail end of their adventure discover what they think to be an alien buried in the desert. Convinced that
they’ve learned something they shouldn’t have, these college students begin to
lose their minds, thinking the government is after them….. Or is it just the
toxic mold spores they inhaled when exhuming the remains of the dead “creature”
while inebriated?
3.
STINK – A FASCINATING glimpse into the hierarchy
of a mob operated trash-collecting company. Watch as these angry criminals try
and convince the world that global warming is a lie to prevent the “Reuse,
Recycle” trend from destroying their way of life.
4.
SALINE – A salt shortage leaves the fake-boobed
women of America without replacements for their aging implants, and aspiring-to-be-D-cup ladies without the ability to enhance. The psychological strain is too much
for one group of housewives from New Jersey who go running off to the Congo for a cheap solution,
unknowingly bringing back a slow acting airborne Ebola strain with their new
knockers. The CDC must act fast or everyone dies! (okay, maybe that’s more
likely to show up on FX)
5.
REAL – A reality show about the making of a
reality show.
6.
SQUIRREL – A lifetime hunter becomes vegan
when he discovers Buddha and decides his dead wife has reincarnated in the
red squirrel that visits his bird feeder. He learns to meditate in an attempt
to communicate with the squirrel he believes to be his dead wife and becomes
overwrought with grief because he is attracted to not only the squirrel but
also to the yoga teacher who has become his meditation guide.
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