I always smile and look at the sky when I carry heavy shit. Don't you? YAY, WORK! |
They attempt
to prepare you for a real world work environment by giving you “group projects”
in school. Those would be the ones where one kid thinks he knows how to do
everything (but doesn’t) and tries to guide the project. Then there are the
kids who don’t have any idea what’s going on and drool drips out their mouths
while they listen to the kid who thinks he knows what’s going on as he has
arguments with the nerdy hardworking kid who doesn’t want to fail the project
and hates group projects even more than he hates the letter F. Inevitably the
one kid who knows what’s going on does the entire project, builds up enormous
amounts of resentment towards the other kids for letting him do all the work,
enormous amounts of resentment towards the obnoxious kid who thinks he knows
everything and will take all the credit, and enormous amounts of resentment
towards the teacher for assigning the group project in the first place. I think
this aligns fairly well with your average work environment. You have your know-it-all(s) who do nothing and pretend they're busy, your slow people who don’t get
anything done, your bosses, and the people who get stuck doing all the work and
cleaning up the messes.
I find it
really interesting how many different interpretations there are of the word
“work” at work. I generally find that when I go to “work” I assume I am
supposed to be “working,” as in not reading my personal email, not looking at
porn, not on Facebook, not going for meandering walks around the building, not
on the phone with my Great Aunt Hilda’s dog psychiatrist, and not hanging out
in the bathroom. I was surprised when I learned that this was not a universally
agreed upon thought. There are also several different speeds for getting things
done at work. While a rational person might think the most desirable speed for completing a task would be as fast as efficiently possible, that rational person
might be wrong! Other speeds for accomplishing tasks I have encountered in the
work force are slow, constipated whale shit, stop, and dead grandma. And then
there’s this really odd interpretation of who owns company property. I used to
think that things bought for your store or company, such as office supplies,
toilet paper, and Creamer for the coffee were for the office and taking them
home would be the equivalent of stealing product. I didn’t know that I was
wrong about that too. At least the majority opinion seems to imply that I’m wrong
about that.
On the
Internet I found a definition of the word “work” to be, “Be engaged in physical or mental
activity in order to achieve a purpose or result.” I Googled it. I suppose if you
use that definition, the "purpose or result" could encompass quite a wide variety
of goals. So really, all your coworkers have to do to actually be doing “work” at
your job to fulfill this definition is killing brain cells…..
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