World's Going To Hell - Handbasket Not Included

       

Hey, take me with you!

    I’m really getting sick of people. Not ALL people. The irritating ones. The rude ones. The ignorant ones. The people who don’t understand that the earth revolves around the sun and not them. EVERYWHERE you go these people are lurking. They drive on the highway – cutting you off, tailgating you, driving in front of you 20 miles under the speed limit while they talk on the phone or text. They spit propaganda like garbage at you – reasons why anyone who disagrees with them is wrong, being sure to include slogan like phrases they’ve seen or could put in an image on Facebook. They look up and say “Huh?” after you’ve tried to address them or speak to them because your presence in the room or at the table is inconsequential to their existence. They strategically grunt, whine, and whimper when they’re completing an action in the presence of others, just to make sure you know that they’re not happy about what they’re doing. I’ve had it.

            When did people become so egocentric? I fear it is a largely wealthy world driven characteristic, meaning I’m pretty sure it’s not like this in the Congo. Perhaps there you have a survival instinct instead. A better example would be Cuba. It’s been a while since I’ve been there, but I distinctly remember watching younger people and men step off the sidewalk so older woman would not have to walk in the road. People would look you in the eye when you spoke to them, and listen to what you had to say, because all opinions are worth something and that’s how cultures grow. Cuba has more doctors per capita than any other nation (Henry J Kaiser Family Foundation), not to mention the near 100% literacy rate since as far back as 1985 (that’s as far back as the UNESCO chart goes). Intelligence is a duty and something worth striving for.

            People have completely forgotten how to communicate, and they don’t even seem to be aware of it. If they are aware of it, they must just not care. It used to be that people knew that the important thing in life was the difference you made in people’s lives while you were around and the good things that you did (not for the sake of doing good things). Now the trend is to post pictures and articles on Facebook about how those are the important things in life, BUT I DON’T ACTUALLY SEE PEOPLE ACTING ON THAT. It’s the age-old truth that actions speak louder than words. If someone matters to you, you show him or her, rather than ignoring them the whole way through a meal or falling asleep while they sit there wondering if you’re suffering from an illness or just insufferably rude.

            If you want to make a difference in a life, DO it. CALL your friend who you haven’t heard from in a while and might be worried about. Go visit someone who’s having a bad day. Bake some cookies for your neighbor, just because people like to eat cookies. 

            Whether or not you’re a Bible reader, I’ll share with you an anecdote (that is not the least bit preachy). Revelations was always my favorite section of the Bible – that says something odd about me I’m sure since it is the book detailing the Apocalypse. I never understood though, if you were going to take it at face value, why the number of “saved” Christians that would go to Heaven was so small. Just 144,000. As a child, I knew that was a lot of people if you were going to be in a crowd, but definitely not enough given all the supposed Christians there were wandering the Earth. Except when I look at that number now, it makes a lot more sense, and THAT is the real tragedy. People are really horrible to each other. It’s not just the bombs and the shotguns and the suicide bombers. If you want to look at it from a truly grim perspective, at least THOSE people are being honest. It’s the people who look at you and pretend they care that are the worst. They lie to your face everyday. Some of them are so involved with themselves, they don’t even know that they’re lying. They don’t understand the “being the better friend” syndrome – where their friends put in all the effort and get nothing in return, until they realize that there are some people out there who are more worth their efforts and move on.

            If you don’t agree with someone, you’re an idiot. If you try to have a meeting of the minds instead of giving in, you’re an extortionist. There is no more dialogue. There is little respect for others. And, communication is a memory now that people can’t go a minute and a half without looking at their smartphones (which, ironically, make people really dumb). Anyone who is still holding on to the old ways sticks out like a sore thumb, looking lost, uncomfortable, and sad. I don’t want to be part of a world like this. And I’m smart enough to know there is nothing I can do to fix it. 

The Handicap of Entitlement

            I’m sure you’ve witnessed this spectacle. You’re walking from the far end of a parking lot on a cold day, shivering to the bone, feet mucking through slush that splashes up the back of your calf. You see a car pull into the space right in front of the business you’re headed for. That space happens to have the well-known blue sign in front of it that most of us know and recognize as a “HANDICAPPED” designation. You look at the license plate on the car and see that it’s normal and think, “Huh, that’s not a handicap plate.” The door to the car opens and a completely mobile person gets out and you think, “Huh, that person doesn’t look handicapped.” And then you see hanging from their rear view mirror one of those temporary handicapped tags that you can get if you drive around an elderly handicapped parent, OR you don’t and the person has nothing hanging from their rear view mirror.

            Often times the person who exits the car is overweight. I feel compelled to shout things like, “Hey asshole, if you parked in a normal space at the other side of the parking lot and walked like the rest of us, maybe you wouldn’t be so fat!” or “Wow, when did they designate a lack of self control while eating at McDonald’s an actual disability?” I’m not sure what angers me more - the fact that these people are taking up the space that is reserved for the legitimately disabled person who is trying to get around in a society that is not set up well for their disadvantaged bodies, or the fact that these people hold the belief that they are better than everyone else.

            Where does this sense of entitlement come from? I can safely say that my generation and the generations that followed got it from parents saying, “You’re special.” Let me let you in on a secret, friends of my age and younger, “YOU’RE NOT SPECIAL!” For those older than I, I’m not so sure. I definitely get the sense that there are some elderly people who think they’ve earned the right to be rude, and I just don’t agree. Perhaps the people my mom’s age get it from the “I’m okay, you’re okay,” hippy philosophy. The bottom line is if you want to follow that whole socialist idea of everyone being created equal, no one DESERVES that handicapped space. It is created to assist those at a physical disadvantage. I don’t see entitlement as a disadvantage.

            The ironic thing is that often times those with physical handicaps are more likely to tough it out and walk the extra distance, through the pain, through the difficulty, to get where they’re going. With suffering comes acceptance and gratitude. With entitlement comes thanklessness and emptiness. And it goes without saying that when fat people feel empty they’re only going to get fatter. (Also, see those people who go to the gym and drive around the parking lot until they find the closest parking space so they don’t have to walk… )

            We can’t fix the entitled people. They can only fix themselves, and that would first require that they see a problem with their behavior. And that’s not going to happen. Rather than be angry about it, I offer you these thoughts of karmic recourse.

            I’d like to think that people get what’s coming to them, even if it takes a while. So, while these jackasses take handicapped spaces away from those in need, I’d like to think they’ll get the ugly nurse/doctor when it’s time for a rectal examination. Or, alternatively, their morphine drip machine will be the one with dead batteries. They will share the hospital room with a dementia patient who does nothing but yell obscene profanities throughout the night while watching the Home Shopping Network at full volume. They will pay, my friends, they will pay.

             

Rude Rage

Don't make me do this to your phone.

            I was sitting in the Starbucks café at Barnes & Noble in Nashua NH Saturday, just minding my own business, doing some work. I have a hard time dealing with rude, self-absorbed people so I generally don’t go out on the weekends. Sometimes, though, you just have to get out of the house. So, I try to be understanding of the fact that not everyone shares my belief that inside voices should be quite a bit softer than outside voices. This particular Saturday crowd included what I understood to be a local board game club. I am not the coolest cucumber ever. Actually, I’m quite a bit of a geeky, dorky, weirdo. But THESE PEOPLE – Oy Marie!!! The Social Incompetence Fairy hit them REALLY hard with her not so magic wand that she pulled out of her Dungeons and Dragons game.

            It was bad enough that they were really loudly playing board games that sounded quite complicated. Everyone in a 30 feet radius could hear the rules to every game they started and when they switched to a new one because someone didn’t like the way the game was going. I got really excited when I heard a latecomer say he brought “Munchkin.” Of course, I immediately thought of both donuts and little people, and I like both. I was quite disappointed when I turned around and discovered it was just another game. All of this nonsense could have been overlooked until one of these Gonzos decided to start singing. At full volume. Multiple verses of a really dull song I assume he made up. Why has it become such a common thing for people to do everything in public places so LOUDLY and INCONSIDERATELY?

            I don’t want to hear about the sadly unexciting dirty things you did with the guy who’s name you can’t quite remember that you, like, met at a bar, and, like, totally could see yourself marrying, even though he, like, said he had a girlfriend, but you’re sure she’s not as pretty as you. And I don’t want to hear about why everyone in your circle is blessed to know you, because you went to a fancy college and can regurgitate all kinds of unoriginal thoughts that you learned in a lecture, as you try to impress your girlfriend’s parents by waxing verbosely about things you clearly know nothing about. I might want to hear about what you ate for lunch, if it was something special. Really though, if I wanted to know any of these things about you, I would add you as a friend on Facebook, because we all know that is what Facebook is for – unedited unsolicited useless information about your peers and people you don’t even know. Most of all, I don’t want to hear ANYTHING you have to say WHILE I AM AT THE GYM.

            I don’t care who you are or how interesting your stories are. If I am hauling ass on the elliptical machine, I am trying to concentrate on making it to my goal time with maximum calorie burning impact. I am quite often trying to burn off, in addition to obscene amounts of ice cream and donuts, the anger and frustration from life that built up since I was last at the gym. And, YOU, shouting at your friend next to you about any of the things I mentioned in the prior paragraph, you are rudely disturbing my workout and getting in the way of my becoming calm. How are you even carrying on a conversation? I have to believe you’re not expending much more energy than you would be while walking to your car. I can barely catch my breath when I’m exercising hard, let alone speak. I can shoot angry  “Are you kidding me?!” glances towards my workout partner while you’re shouting loud enough that I can hear you through my beat heavy workout playlist. That doesn’t take much energy.

            Even more enraging is the cell phone in group-exercise-classes scenario. Everyone forgets to turn his phone off sometimes. It happens in concerts, libraries, meetings, ski slopes (that one surprised me), doctor’s appointments…. Maybe she even left it on purposefully because she can’t spend even five minutes alone with her thoughts. No judgment yet, really! I am an extremely forgiving and understanding individual. You really didn’t just PICK UP that call IN CLASS. Did you? Are you serious? Now I’m angry. Now you’ve not only disturbed my zoned out mush-brained quiet mind with noise that I was going to forgive, but you are forcing me, as if I were a hostage, to listen to your conversation. NO! I protest! I’ve had enough! Is nothing sacred? There are even tables and chairs in the lobby of my gym for meeting and conversing. Go to a damned coffee shop. Go to a bar. Go to the mall. Go ANYWHERE! I don’t care where. Stop ruining my workouts you rude, loud people. I promise it is in both of our best interests and will allow me to be much more understanding when you cut me off on the highway, sing in my café, or sit in the seat where my feet are propped up in an otherwise completely empty movie theatre. Otherwise, you had best hope my friend Elizabeth is there to keep me from kicking you in the head. (True story.)