If I Can't Drink Out of The World Cup, Then It Is Not Useful To Me.

         

  I’m seeing an awful lot of “football” posts on Facebook right now (and by “football” I mean soccer), and I find myself overwhelmed with pangs of “Who cares?” I generally feel that way about most things that people post on Facebook, but the World Cup Who Cares 'WOOO!'-athon makes me laugh a little bit too. Since when do all of you people actually watch or care about soccer?

THAT'S the trophy?! It looks like
a crystal ball on a dragon talon! Where
are the Dungeons and Dragons folk?

            This is beyond the ridiculousness of the Super Bowl bandwagon, the “I care about curling (even though I’m not Canadian)” feigned excitement, and even the “Oh I MUST watch the Oscars (but I didn’t go to the movies a single time in the last year and have no idea what they’re talking about)” falderal. Soccer. World Cup. “But it’s the WORLD CUP,” I hear people say (ahem, read people post). If only people were so quick to jump on to following important current events. Can you imagine? “I HAVE to pay attention, it’s MOSUL! People are DYING!” It would be funny, except it’s not because it is true. Or how about "Soccer players are hot!" Unless you have a REALLY big television, don't they just look like little fast people running around with a ball? 

            All these bandwagon World Cup fans seem also to not be aware of how many indigenous people were displaced to build the parking lots around the stadium. At least, if they ARE aware, then their World Cup support is a little bit disgusting. And let’s not even talk about the poverty in that country. I remember when I was there in 1997 and from a bus window saw a kid being beaten up for stealing a Coca Cola. I think it has only declined since then.

            If you genuinely like watching football and support teams, I don’t think it’s at all odd for you to be excited about the World Cup. Let’s face it though. If you fall into that category, you are probably not American. Americans don’t even call it the right name! Soccer. Sacher. I prefer the latter. It makes me think of cakes. (Sacher is the name of a Viennese hotel, which created an amazing chocolate torte).

           I’m just rambling… none of it REALLY matters. It just makes me chuckle. I’m proud to say I don’t watch football/soccer. I don’t know what’s going on at the World Cup. I don’t know when it will be over (though I’m sure my Facebook feed will let me know).  And, I don’t care. It does strike me as extra hilarious, however, that Facebook alerted me to the fact that one of the things “trending” yesterday was people reminiscing about OJ Simpson’s high-speed car chase. At no point have I or anyone else I know done any reminiscing about OJ Simpson’s high-speed car chase. Who are the people thinking and talking about this? They have to be about 1000 times more odd than the fake soccer fans. From what I remember, it wasn’t even exciting. It was an SUV driving down a highway…. Don’t these people know that the World Cup is happening?