NO You May NOT Have Cheese With That Whine.

I don't know who created this, but I concur. 

I walked forlornly to the break room to get yet another cup of coffee and found myself wishing I was retrieving a shot of Jaeger….. at 10am. What could possibly drive a grown ass woman to feel the need to anesthetize with shitty liquor at 10 am on a Friday morning? I’ll tell you what. WHINING MEN. I’m pretty certain that a propensity to whine might be the most unattractive quality in a grown man, or really any male over the age of 9. (Okay. Perhaps lack of cleanliness, dishonesty and pedophile mustaches are less attractive, but that’s splitting hairs). After that age, you need to get it together and put your big boy pants on. I’m not saying whining is more tolerable in grown women. For me, however, it’s not an issue of attractive or not, it’s just plain annoying.

            So, perhaps said male needs a juice box and can’t find one so he’s whining thinking his mommy is listening, but I’m not his/your mom and don’t want to hear it. As I am not into polygamy it is most likely I am also not said male’s girlfriend/wife either. Again, I don’t want to hear it. And if I were the girlfriend, not only would I not want to hear it, I would probably make fun of you for the whining. Well, frankly, I might just do that anyway.

             The topic in whining that has been grating my last nerve lately is that of work. Perhaps I have a different perspective on work in general being a musician who has a “day job.” We collectively call these jobs “day jobs” and it is understood by the entire professional music community that this is a thing we do during the day which we’d rather not be doing that pays the bills. We only take these awful things when our true interest and skill set is not providing ample cash flow. I’m a horn player. I want to do that. When I go home from my “day job” I still have to do my real job, which is to keep practicing my instrument for no pay until someone calls me and offers me an acceptable sum of money for it. When I get up to go to work in the morning, my attitude is such that I will certainly work hard at work and do my best, because that is what I am paid to do. Sure, I'd rather be at the beach or the spa, but the employers and I have a mutual agreement that I will do what I was hired to do and then they will give me a check. It works out quite well and I don’t see anything wrong with the situation. I certainly don't waste my energy complaining about it. So, why do people come to work and complain about having to do work at work?

            Is this a problem that comes from people having never had to work in service jobs or other thankless jobs where you work extra hard and get paid not very much? I’m referencing things such as retail, food service, cleaning houses…  Or are these nitwits taught in university that they are smart and shouldn’t have to do much or anything in a timely fashion? I used to drop my jaw in disbelief when I heard about how many former schoolmates at Harvard would get extensions for papers and projects. You know what happened at Indiana University if you asked for an extension or any special treatment? They laughed in your face. Oh, you were sick? No one cares. Oh, someone died? Show me a death certificate. I'm not joking. People were asked to see death certificates for missing rehearsals/concerts. Real life training.

So these WHINERS who spend more time whining about how busy they are and how much work they have to do than actually DOING the work seem to have this idea that people are interested in listening to their “sob story.” They’re missing some key knowledge of workplace dynamics – everyone knows who’s making more money than he is. If you’re whining to me about how much work you have to do at your job and how much it is inconveniencing your desires to be on Facebook or eat peanuts, I am sitting there thinking, “Buddy, you make more money than I do to do that stuff, so shut your trap.” And trust that many people who make less than you do and are at lower level jobs are not there because they aren’t smart enough to do YOUR job, but because they’re smart enough to know they don’t WANT to do your job. And if you’re whining to your boss, your boss is probably thinking, “Well what the hell am I paying you for? If you don’t want to do your job, maybe I should find someone else to do it.”

There is enough negativity in the world. And there are things going on that are distressing that matter. The fact that you forgot your big boy pants and think that I want to listen to you whine does not matter. Not in the least. Stop contributing to the bad juju with your bitching! Nobody wants to hear it. If I have to hear it before I’ve had ample amounts of caffeine, I can’t guarantee you that I won’t come after your face with some mouth-shaped foam packing and a piece of tape.